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Jeff Foxworthy and Mary Hofstetter contribute the following for those who wander what the great state of Ohio is all about.
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You might be from Ohio (pronounced O-hi-uh),
or (uh-hi-uh)
if:
You think all Pro football teams are supposed to wear orange!
You know all the 4 seasons: winter, still winter, almost winter and construction/plow.
You live less than 30 miles from some college or university.
You know what a buckeye really is, and have a recipe for candied ones.
"Toward the lake" means "NORTH" and "toward the river" means "SOUTH."
You know if other Ohioans are from southern or northern Ohio as soon as they open their mouths.
You can spell words like Cuyahoga, Olentangy, Bellefontaine, Tuscarawas, Wapakoneta
You know which letter is doubled in Cincinnati!
"Vacation!" means spending a day at Cedar Point or Gueagua Lake in the summer and squirrel/deer hunting in the fall.
You measure distance in minutes.
Your school classes were canceled because of cold.
Your school classes were canceled because of heat.
You've had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
You know what should be knee-high by the Fourth of July.
You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. For example: "Where's my coat at?"
You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
You think of the major four food groups as corn, pork, beer, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.
You carry jumper cables in your car.
You know what 'pop' is.
You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow. (Amen!)
You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightgown.
The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page but requires six pages for sports.
You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
Meetings are scheduled according to choir practice in the local church
Young people can avoid jail time if it football season
Your school mascot is either "Indians" or the name of an Indian Tribe
You know Lima Ohio and Lima Peru are not pronounced the same. Same for Cairo Oh and Cairo Egypt
You watch the weather reports from Indiana, Iowa and further west (This one is not a joke)
Bucks are not four legged animals
You see the above statements as normal not jokes.
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