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For The Kids...
What was the greatest accomplishment of the early Romans?
Speaking Latin!
Teacher: That's quite a cough you have there, what are you taking for it?
Pupil: I don't know teacher. What will you give me?
Why did Arthur have a round table?
So no one could corner him!
Who invented King Arthur's round table?
Sir Circumference!
Teacher: You aren't paying attention to me. Are you having trouble hearing? Pupil: No, teacher I'm having trouble listening!
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It was entertainment night at the senior center and the Amazing Claude was topping the bill.
People came from miles around to see the famed hypnotist do his stuff. As Claude went to the front of the meeting room, he announced, "Unlike most hypnotists who invite two or three people up here to be put into a trance, I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience."
The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat. "I want you
each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. It's been in my family for six generations. He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch..."
The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until, suddenly,----- it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.
Shit!" said the Hypnotist...
It took three weeks to clean up the senior center.
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