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Ole and Lena Go Flying
Ole and Lena went to a fair. Ole was fascinated by the airplanes and asked a pilot how much a ride would cost.
"$10 for 3 minutes, " replied the pilot.
"That's too much, " said Ole.
The pilot thought for a second and then said, "I'll make you a deal. If you and your wife ride for 3 minutes without uttering a sound, the ride will be free. But if you make a sound, you'll have to pay $10."
Ole and Lena agreed and went for a wild ride. After they landed, the pilot said to Ole, "I want to congratulate you for not making a sound. You are a brave man."
"Maybe so, " said Ole, "but I gotta tell ya, I almost screamed when my wife fell out."
A frog goes into a bank and hops up to the loan officer. The frog says, "Hi, what's your name?"
The loan officer says, "Hello, my name is JOHN PADDYWHACK, can I help you? "
The frog says, "Yes, I'd like to borrow some money."
While the loan officer finds this a little odd, he gets out a form and says: "Okay, what's your name? "
The frog says, "Kermit Jagger. "
The loan officer says, "Really? Any relation to Mick Jagger?"
The frog says, "Yes, he is my father."
The loan officer says, "Okay, do you have any collateral?"
So the frog hands the loan officer his pink ceramic elephant and says, "Will this do?"
The loan officer says, "I'm not sure, I will have to check with the bank manager."
The frog says, "Great, tell him I said hello, He knows me."
So the loan officer goes back to the manager and says:
"Excuse me, there's a frog is out here named Kermit Jagger who wants to borrow some money. All he has for collateral is this pink elephant and I'm not even sure what it is.
The bank mananger looks at the loan clerk and says:
PADDYWACK, THAT'S A NICK-NACK, GIVE THE FROG A LOAN, HIS OLD MAN IS A ROLLING STONE."
For The Kids...
Where do ants go for their holidays?
Frants!
What do you call an ant who skips school?
A truant!
What do you get if you cross some ants with some tics?
All sorts of antics!
Why did the elephant put his trunk across the path?
To trip up the ants!
What is even bigger than an elephant?
A giant!
What do you call an ant in space?
Cosmonants & Astronants!
What do you call an ant from overseas?
Impartant!
What medicine would you give an ill ant?
Antibiotics!
What is smaller than an ant's dinner?
An ant's mouth!
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