Knock Knock! Who's There?
Archie.
Archie Who?
Gesundtheit!
Drinks on me
A man gets captured by cannibals and every day they poke him with spears and use his blood to wash down their food.
Finally the guy calls the chief over and says, "You can cook me or you can eat me, but I'm tired of getting stuck for drinks!"
String Cheese
A string walks into bar and asks for a rum and a cola. But the bartender says, "There is no strings allowed in here!"
So he goes into the bathroom and ties himself into a knot and frays himself at the ends.
Then he walks back out and asks for a rum and a cola. The bartender asks, "Weren't you just the string that walked in here?"
"No," he says, "I'm a frayed knot!"
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