Jenny, Thanks for persisting, I always appreciate your input. Now that this discussion has raised my awareness, I'm seeing more and more hopeful articles in the media about new Alzheimers medications and potential prevention or cure. It seems researchers are now confident that they know the disease mechanism, a sticky substance that kills neurons (nerve cells) in the brain. Apparently there is a natural protein that prevents this sticky substance from collecting on the neurons, but that as we get older, some people's bodies manufacture less and less of this protein. There are several new drugs which in different ways either prevent the loss of this protein, replace it, make the sticky substance less sticky or various other palliative measures. Another class of drugs is being developed to increase the presence of another protein which contributes to learning and memory by encouraging the growth of new connections between neurons. Knowing the disease mechanisms is half the battle won. It's a matter of testing and testing to see what can be done to turn off the bad stuff or turn on more good stuff. Now if they can only put some research into actually reversing the course of the disease, we might all breathe a sigh of relief soon. Cheri

Hello Cheri,

I've tried to discuss Mom and Dad's memory problems with my sis. But she just seems to not be concerned with it. I realize that she is not around them as much as I am, so she really doesn't get a chance to see it happening first hand. She needs to get a grip on reality. Without my hubby, I'm not sure I could've made it this far.

Reading the other posts here, I realize that I am not alone, but at times, it sure seems like it :)

My folks live in a small town also, and Mom is fine there. Since she won't drive in the big city anymore, last year, I spent a good part of the year driving both my folks back and forth to the hospital. As I've already mentioned, Dad has had a lot of health problems, so after many tests and procedures, it turned out to be a long year. And, although this year has been a tad better then last, I grow more tired, mentally. It's really hard.

I don't believe that my folks will need financial assistance, except perhaps for actually writing checks for the bills. I suppose that in the near future, I will need to sit down with them and discuss things like: being added to their banks accounts for purposes of signing checks to pay bills, keys to their safety deposit boxes (I'm already on the signature card), and even power of attorney for handling their finances. Discussions on long term care, and burial preferences, and arrangements are another task that should be addressed. Sigh...

Thanks for listening,

Lisa :`)

PS If anyone would like to PM me and discuss care of their aging parents, please feel free to. I'd be happy to visit with you.

Hi, Lisa

While these aren't tasks I envy you, you are certainly right to be thinking about them.  Let me give you one tip from my real estate expertise:  don't have your name put on title to the house!  That creates a tax problem you don't want, believe me.  Once again I'll refer you to the excellent resources at AARP--I'm certain that they have somewhere a list of what documents you need to have when it comes time to help your parents with their finanical affairs.

Have you tried telling your sister that your parents seem to have forgotten to include her in their will?  Just kidding, but a wake-up call seems to be in order. It may be that she thinks you are exaggerating, or that she doesn't have any idea how she might be able to help, being further away.  Why don't you brainstorm with your husband several things to specifically ask your sister to handle to relieve you of some of the stress? 

Does she ever visit your mom and dad?  If so, maybe she could open some of the more sensitive discussions by asking questions like "Dad, how do you organize your bill-paying?"  It could even be disguised as her pretending to want advice about that.  The answers should tell you whether it's time to step in or not.  I remember when my grandfather lost his auto insurance because the bill got buried in tons of junk mail he was trying to read.  Mother used it as an excuse to get his license revoked, which was a good thing, but it could have been the heating bill...you know?

Remember to stoke the flames of love and respect for your parents to refresh your mental attitude when dealing with their problems.  Think how many years they nurtured you, and you'll feel better about it being your turn.

As always, feel free to come back and get some moral support here.

Cheri

 

Interesting discussion Cheri. My mother-in-law was diagnosed with alzheimers but retained her social abilities. She still remembered staff name's at a senior living center, and there were quite a few staff there. Her ability to care for herself declined. She had to move to a nursing home, then passed away shortly thereafter.

My brother-in-law developed alzheimers. He was a retired teacher and had a PHD. Several of his siblings had alzheimers too. He passed away in the nursing home from double pneumonia.

Perhaps part of the reason we are hearing about so much of an increase in alzheimers is because people are living longer. Therefore there is more chance of all diseases in later years. Also it is possible that doctors are more educated about the symptoms to look for than they were years ago. There is always the possibility that environmental factors affect our population too.

DonnaZ