Number 4 A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow > goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says: "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies: "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 221." Number 3 One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his wife's arm. The wife turns over and says, "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh." The husband, rejected, turns over. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?" Number 2 Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own. One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong. "What's wrong, Bill?" she asked. "Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?" "Oh, Bill, you didn't!" she exclaimed. "Yes, I did." he replied. "My God, Bill, what happened?" "I got fired." "No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?" "Oh...she got fired too." Number 1 A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says: "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together." "I know," the old man said. "We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago." "Well," Granny snickered. "Let's relive some old times." Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table. "You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago." "I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps. "One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal."

Good ones Sheri!!! My husband and I enjoyed those

Sheri, We All Love Ya For These. Thanks For Inviting Me. Elbert L ( gouardhead ) .

THOUGHT THESE MIGHT GO WITH YOUR COLLECTION ROBIN Two Minute Management Lessons Why a two minute management lesson? Because we all need some management "Continuing Education" every once in a while. Lesson One: An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit on my ass like you and do nothing?" The eagle answered, "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. Management Lesson: To be sitting on your ass and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up. ------------------------- Lesson Two: A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my manure droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of manure and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree. Management Lesson: Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there. ------------------------ Lesson Three: A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out. He lay there all warm and happy and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung and promptly dug him out and ate him. Management Lessons: (1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy. (2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend. (3) When you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut. This ends your two-minute management course. Why a two minute management lesson? Because we all need some management "Continuing Education" every once in a while. Lesson

Sheri, Thanks This Helps Us All. They Are Good'ns .. Thanks For Inviting Me. Elbert L ( gouardhead ) .