Just to REALLY confound those for whom Engrish is a second language (ESOL's).

malapropisms - where the speaker uses a word that *sounds* similar to the word they want, but means something completely different.

For Example:

• "Your ambition - is that right - is to abseil across the English channel?"
  Cilla Black
  
• "It is beyond my apprehension."
  Danny Ozark, baseball team manager
  
• "Listen to the blabbing brook."
  Norm Crosby
  
• "This is unparalyzed in the state's history."
  Gib Lewis, Texas Speaker of the House
  
• "She's really tough; she's remorseful."
  David Moorcroft
  
• "And then he [Mike Tyson] will have only channel vision."
  Frank Bruno, boxer
  
• "Cardial - as in cardial arrest."
  Eve Pollard
  
• "Marie Scott... has really plummeted to the top."
  Alan Weeks
  
• "He's going up and down like a metronome."
  Ron Pickering
  
• "He's on 90... 10 away from that mythical figure."
  Trevor Bailey, cricket commentator
  
• "Unless somebody can pull a miracle out of the fire, Somerset are cruising into the semi-final."
  Fred Trueman
  
• "We cannot let terrorists and rogue nations hold this nation hostile or hold our allies hostile."
  George W. Bush
  
• "The police are not here to create disorder, they're here to preserve disorder."
  Richard Daley, former Chicago mayor
  
• "He was a man of great statue."
  Thomas Menino, Boston mayor
  
• "Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child."
  Dan Quayle, Vice President
  
• "Well, that was a cliff-dweller."
  Wes Westrum, about a close baseball game
  
• "If Gower had stopped that [cricket ball] he would have decapitated his hand."
  Farokh Engineer
  
• "We seem to have unleased a hornet's nest."
  Valerie Singleton
  
• "This series has been swings and pendulums all the way through."
  Trevor Bailey, cricket commentator
  
• "Be sure and put some of those neutrons on it."
  Mike Smith, ordering a salad at a restaurant
  
• "It's got lots of installation."
  Mike Smith, describing his new coat

I'll close with my favorite Steven Wright quote:

"Some people say I'm off in my own little world...but that's ok...they know me there."

Quote:

Quote:
Yes Nerma and Dave, this really could be great.

One promise please hahahaha.

Promise that you'd not delete me from your friends list.

Hahahahahaha, I look forward to our video. Which will it be a hit :)))

Dave,
What a great post. You couldn't get 2 better folks to make a video then these 2. I am so looking forward to this. I know it will be fabulous. Isn't it a shame Bogdan couldn't join on this video. Hey gals you will have to work on getting Bogdan in on your video.

Hi Dave,

This is a cool, fun forum. Don't know how I missed it. Glad you had it posted on the wall.
So looking forward to that video of Branka and Nerma. Fun, fun and more fun with those 2.

Myrna.

Quote:
Hi Dave,

This is a cool, fun forum. Don't know how I missed it. Glad you had it posted on the wall.
So looking forward to that video of Branka and Nerma. Fun, fun and more fun with those 2.

Myrna.

Dear Myrna, I promise fun of me. Anyway you'll see :)

Quote:

Quote:

Quote:
Yes Nerma and Dave, this really could be great.

One promise please hahahaha.

Promise that you'd not delete me from your friends list.

Hahahahahaha, I look forward to our video. Which will it be a hit :)))

Dave,
What a great post. You couldn't get 2 better folks to make a video then these 2. I am so looking forward to this. I know it will be fabulous. Isn't it a shame Bogdan couldn't join on this video. Hey gals you will have to work on getting Bogdan in on your video.