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Jim
Jim Allen

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RE: This thread is for humor you just gotta laugh to keep from crying.
6/10/2013 10:45:05 PM
This Community Humor Forum is Open to All Viewers and their Views I will never post where you cannot have a say too.



Bob: “Did you hear about the Obama administration scandal?”
Jim: “You mean the Mexican gun running?”
Bob: “No, the other one.”
Jim: “The State Dept. lying about Benghazi?”
Bob: “No, the other one.”
Jim: “The IRS targeting conservatives?”
Bob: “No, the other one.”
Jim: “The DOJ spying on the press?”
Bob: “No, the other one.”
Jim: “Sebelius shaking down health insurance executives?”
Bob: “No, the other one.”
Jim: “The NSA monitoring our phone calls, e-mails and everything else?”
Bob: “No, the other one”
Jim: “The State Dept. (new today) interfering with an IG investigation on dept. sexual misconduct?”
Bob: “No, the other one.”
Jim: “HHS employees (also new today) being given insider information on Medicare Advantage?”
Bob: “No, the other one.”
Jim: “Clinton, the IRS, Clapper & Holder all lying to Congress?” Bob: “No, the other one.”
Jim: “I give up! … Oh wait, I think I got it! You mean that 65 million low-info voters stuck us again with the most corrupt administration in American history?”
Bob: “THAT’S THE ONE!”

May Wisdom and the knowledge you gained go with you,



Jim Allen III
Skype: JAllen3D
Everything You Need For Online Success


+1
RE: This thread is for humor you just gotta laugh to keep from crying.
6/13/2013 9:18:14 PM
Hard to beat Israeli Technology...


The Israelis are developing an airport security device that eliminates the privacy concerns that come with full-body scanners. It's an armored booth you step into that will not X-ray you, but will detonate any explosive device you may have on your person.

Israel sees this as a win-win situation for everyone, with none of this crap about racial profiling. It will also eliminate the costs of long and expensive trials.

You're in the airport terminal and you hear a muffled explosion. Shortly thereafter, an announcement:

"Attention to all standby passengers, El Al is proud to announce a seat available on flight 670 to London . Shalom!"

BRILLIAN
T...
David Weed President,
+2
RE: This thread is for humor you just gotta laugh to keep from crying.
6/18/2013 12:37:17 PM
David Weed President,
+4
RE: This thread is for humor you just gotta laugh to keep from crying.
6/18/2013 11:45:43 PM
When I hear the word"Service"used with these agencies:


Internal Revenue 'Service'


US Postal 'Service'


Telephone 'Service'


Cable TV'Service'


Civil 'Service'


Federal, State, City, & public 'Service'


Customer 'Service'

This is NOT what I thought 'Service' meant.

But today, I overheard two farmers talking, and one of them said he had bought a bull to 'Service' his cows.


BAM! It all came into focus. Now I understand what all those agencies are doing to us.


You are now as enlightened as I am ....

David Weed President,
+5
Jim
Jim Allen

5804
11253 Posts
11253
Invite Me as a Friend
Top 25 Poster
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RE: This thread is for humor you just gotta laugh to keep from crying.
6/19/2013 1:18:17 AM
Stanley died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly. The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best deer hunting friends, Cooter and Gomer. The three men had always hunted and fished together and were long time members of a hunting camp.



Cooter arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet, Cooter said, “Yup, his face is burned up pretty bad. You better roll him over.” The mortician rolled him over and Cooter said, “Nope, ain't Stanley .”



The mortician thought this was rather strange, So he brought Gomer in to confirm the identity of the body. Gomer looked at the body and said, “Yup, he's pretty well burnt up. Roll him over.” The mortician rolled him over and Gomer said, “No, it ain't Stanley.”



The mortician asked, “How can you tell?” Gomer said, “Well, Stanley had two ass-holes.” “What! He had two ass-holes?” asked the mortician. “Yup, we never seen 'em, but everybody used to say, There's Stanley with them two ass-holes.”



Cooter and Gomer are both now employed in the Obama administration. One in the Cinncinatti IRS office and the other in the Justice Department.

May Wisdom and the knowledge you gained go with you,



Jim Allen III
Skype: JAllen3D
Everything You Need For Online Success


+1


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