Thanks Evelyn, I surely tried to bring up my daughter and son in consistency with boundaries so we could all function well as a family, and we would have balance and know they stepped over the line there would be consequences, and they knew what they were that I would take.
I did not get a lot of emotional support from their father to enforce the rules with me as he would not follow through which kind of left me hanging as I did not want to be the boss in the family as that was his role, but there were many times that I did have to step up to the plate or it would not have been done.
Schools in New Zealand were definitely not designed to dumb down the students (while mine were there) as much as American children have suffered. Although now I know what happened, I reckon they were doing quite a bit of the formula towards that end.
A lot of the good results came from many parents - myself included, who took time out to go and assist in the schools where needed. I attended all plays, oratory contests (Kerie was in several as she was an excellent public speaker and debater) concerts, sports days (which would involved the whole school, for swimming sports one day and athletics some other day) I drove a car load of children to different away events, e.g. snow skiing whereby because I took our car and paid the petrol their class who had raised money for these events, I received a free skiing lesson and the ski gear. This is where I learned to ski and the mountain was only an hour away but I never skied before!
Class trips away to the South Island for about 4 days taking the Ferry (small ship) across the Cooks Strait some of the most treacherous waters in the world because of the sudden wind changes and currents in the waters. Trips to the Aquarium, zoo, as all these places were about 1 - 3 hours drive away and living in a town, country children did not always see visit these attractions even when they went to the cities as they would be visiting family and not go out to these places.
Kerie pass her exams in high school and put herself through University while working full time, we did not have the extra money to pay for her.
She passed her degrees and was planning on being a school teacher as she always had great report with children, but when she was doing her training in various schools for the hours she had to do. Kerie found that it was not what she wanted to do afterall, but she finished her hours so she would have it to fall back on and decided to pursue travelling overseas. She learned to snowboard as she was already a great skier and passed exams for her certificate and has taught snowboarding to student at Vail, Colorado and back in NZ. She had done extensive restaurant and cafe work, waiting tables, behind the counter making different coffees, cooking, managing etc and this is her stop gap each time she comes back to town as there are about 3 places that will have her back in an instant even for only a few months. Which I think is great that she has this buffer.
Daryl, he did all the same activities with his class and I was with him for those too. They both had a paper run that I helped them with, driving them up the hill where there run started and often times helping them out when they had some other appointment, it was only once per week and the paper was in Kerie's name and I paid Daryl the same wage until he took over from Kerie when she wanted done with it, then I helped him. It gave them responsibility and pocket money.
He was my accident prone child and has broken many bones, cut himself up from one thing or another and sports accidents and just being a boy. His first accident, he was only about 3 and was having a bath just before dinner and he pulled the shower curtain and metal rod came down on him stabbing him in the base of the skull. He bled like a stuck pig and I could see into this huge hole, boy that scared me. My neighbour was outside so she got her car out and I bundled Daryl up in his towel with his PJs because I could not wait long enough to dress him and staunch the blood too. He had 3 stitches and still carries the scare today.
He was in a vehicle accident about 2 years into his apprentice- ship. He was on his motor bike driving around the round about (it was his turn to be on there) when a van drove straight into him.
Daryl suffered bad leg injuries that had some extensive surgeries and he still limps when he is tired, back and head injuries. The head injuries he has lost most his young life memories. It took him several years to get over this accident.
I am so happy for him all the adventures he has accomplished on his travels. He has learned scuba diving, snowboarding, mountain climbing up K2 (I think that was the name of the mountain) in Pakistan, planking in some of the most dangerous looking places (planking is keeping your body and stiff as a board and laying on your stomach and only your stomach muscles holding you on the object, with your arms and feet in fresh air and scenery.) Riding elephants, handling and laying down with Tigers, monkeys, snakes and all sorts of animals that are kind of suspect. I guess he gets that from me cause if we have not had these animals in NZ I am not scared of them.
Amanda
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Amanda, sounds like you have taught your children well. Here in our school system if the parents don't take control of their children's education and add more things than they do in school, they get behind and don't have the needed skills to make it in life.
My daughter and her husband both have college educations that they worked and paid for themselves. I was able to help my daughter some, financially, but she did most of it on her own by first managing a fast food restaurant and going parttime and then the last two years she waited tables and went full time. My two and my stepson all went to work when they sixteen years old because they wanted to work and make their own money.
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Hello Everyone
I never really understood why American students and adults were dumbed down and so many people I encountered along the way all knew they were - but that video sure gave me the answers and we have all seen the results.
They leave school barely able to read, do basic math, cannot find their own State on the map, yet if they had any sporting talents at all these are held in the highest esteem by their peers, teachers, parents, coach etc.
There is a lot of pressure placed upon children these days that when you boil it all down are meaningless in the whole spectrum. e.g. To be the first at everything especially in the sports field. But what happens if they are not good enough to get in with the NFL or other Sports Federation.
My two children have had their education widened immensely when they started to travel overseas to work and meet up with many people from different cultures, ethnics and other countries as fellow overseas workers becoming their co-workers. Budgeting their money and saving to keep travelling or they don't go. I think they would only have taken this plunge because I moved away from New Zealand to live which gave them the incentive to come see me and they had to find how they could work before they left NZ and stay those first initial years before they worked further afield than USA.
But I do feel a little worried too, because my son Daryl whom is living and working in England at present will have his visa run out in the next few months and apparently cannot renew it because he did not realise when he took it out, he did not need it at that time to work with the Busabout Company who hired him on their cruise ships to sail on the Continent and Europe 2 years ago. This visa was wasted and now that he needs it and wants to stay longer in Britain he may not be able to so he is looking to travel to Egypt and I do not really know how safe that is for him.
He was in Pakistan/K2, Laos, China & Hong Kong, South America and had a wonderful time and experiences.
He is not ready to go back home to NZ and is getting pressure on him to go back for his father's birthday in June and he was telling me his aunt (my brother's wife) had assumed he would be flying home and told everyone he would be there.
This was one of the reasons I have not been back for a visit to my family, they always wanted to boss me around because I am the youngest (1 sister and 2 brothers) and now they are doing it to my daughter and son. Talk about control freaks!! They do not even contact me. I said to Daryl that I supported his decision 100% as it is his life and no one else's, which made him feel better that I have his back.
Amanda
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Hi Kathleen, Amanda, Luis Miguel & All,
I must say that dumbed down is right and how unfortunate is that?
Satire and sarcasm are some times the best tools to get a point across and you did good Kathleen with your post (even though some might mistake it and not notice the spicy sarcasm).
Luis Miguel, I have to agree with you. When I was raising my 2 daughters I always tried to instill in them that all I want is for them to always do their best. Not do half baked jobs whether it be in the workplace or in school. Happily I must admit that I succeeded with both my girls.
With my eldest it was easier cos she has an IQ that's off the charts and she was capable of studying, listening to music and watching TV all at the same time and then acing the exam. My younger daughter while she has an above average IQ had a more difficult time in school cos she followed her older sister and the expectations from her were great.and Yifat was a hard act to follow. Yet she always tried her best and did well.
This carried on as they grew older and now I find Yifat teaching her kids the same thing which is very satisfying. Her eldest daughter who's in the 2nd grade is a very bright girl and never has to be reminded to do her homework and so far is doing very well.
I'm amazed how strict Yifat can be with her kids and she and her husband teach them that there are boundaries and limits to what is allowed and when they misbehave as kids will do they get it from her and her husband.
Unfortunately I find that many parents are afraid of their kids and won't punish them when they misbehave and the results can be seen and some times they are quite ugly.
Luis Miguel, your last comment is interesting and I can't agree with you more. I even stated as much in my PM to Karen but it apparently didn't take and reading her posts now nothing with her surprises me anymore.
Shalom,
Peter
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Hello Kathleen,
Too funny, you have quite a wit. LOL
As I was reading, I was thinking what I have been learning lately especially Charlotte Iserbyt 'American Deception, dumbing down in schools.
Children, Students, adults are rewarded throughout life with stars, awards, medals, ribbons, cups, Oscars, etc. No one gets corrected anymore.
It was very interesting yet shocking how this was accomplished.
Amanda
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We should all sing on Singsnap and make a record-sales site, and all be compelled to get along, just like on the handmade sales sites where everyone promotes each other's scarves and jewelry made from rags and recycled newspapers, and there's no arguing because everyone's in sell-mode...and we all tell each other..."That looks great!" ;)
That and an exaggerated praise of a wrong spirit of competition, where arriving in second or third place or, for that matter, in the tenth place is no longer valid. "No one will remember you if you are second" seems to have become the life's supreme motto for children and is what parents are supposed to inculcate them - the earliest the better. No wonder so many children commit suicide nowadays.
On the opposite end, no one gets corrected anymore... so you can, among other things, do others what you would not have done unto you. To heck with them if they hurt...
No extremes can be good. To me, everyone has the right to make what makes them happy... as long as they are not hurting other people, and even if they cannot carry a tune.
Hugs,
Miguel