Confucius says:
"War doesn't determine who is right, war determines who is left"
Hello My Friends,
Although I am always quite solemn and reverent on this Memorial Day, and rightly we should be, as we remember all of the brave Men & Women who have given their lives in the struggle for Freedom over the years, I also always smile when I am reminded of my Dad each Memorial Day. This man, the same man who had fought in WWII, "the war to end all wars", and the very same man who would stand rigidly at attention with just the slightest tear in his eye, whenever The Flag passed by in a parade, this man loved to laugh. I used to love the sound of his laughter and I like to rememmber him that way, on this Memorial Day. I like to think that he would have enjoyed the following cute jokes & stories about the Military.
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Getting the Ship Under Way
A young ensign had nearly completed his first overseas tour of sea duty when he was given an opportunity to display his ability at getting the ship under way. With a stream of crisp commands, he had the decks buzzing with men and soon, the ship had left port and was streaming out of the channel. The ensign's efficiency has been remarkable. In fact, the deck was abuzz with talk that he had set a new record for getting a destroyer under way.
The ensign glowed at his accomplishment and was not all surprised when another seaman approached him with a message from the captain. He was, however, a bit surprised to find that it was a radio message, and he was even more surprised when he read, "My personal congratulations upon completing your underway preparation exercise according to the book and with amazing speed. In your haste, however, you have overlooked one of the unwritten rules - make sure the captain is aboard before getting under way."
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As a group of soldiers stood in formation at an Army Base, the Drill Sergeant said, "All right! All you idiots fall out."
As the rest of the squad wandered away, one soldier remained at attention.
The Drill Instructor walked over until he was eye-to-eye with him, and then raised a single eyebrow. The soldier smiled and said, "Sure was a lot of 'em, huh, sir?"
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Have You ever tried to figure out why it was that kamikaze pilots wore helmets?
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A sergeant was passing the barracks after lights out, when he heard some voices from inside. He slammed open the door, and shouted: Listen, you guys! A few minutes ago, you all heard me say good night. What you must realize, is that when I say "Good Night," what I really mean is "Shut up!!!"
The room instantly fell silent. But after a few seconds, a small voice could be heard from somewhere in the far back of the dark room: "Good Night, Sergeant"
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A corporal needed to use a pay phone, but didn't have change for a dollar. He saw a private mopping the floors, and asked him, "Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?"
The private replied, "Sure."
The corporal gave him an icy stare. He said, "That's no way to address a superior officer! Now let's try it again. Private, do you have change for a dollar?"
The private replied, "No, SIR!"
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A C-141 cargo plane was preparing for departure from Thule Air Base in Greenland, and they were waiting for the truck to arrive to pump out the aircraft's sewage holding tank. The Aircraft Commander was in a hurry, the truck was late in arriving, and the Airman performing the job was extremely slow in getting the tank pumped out. When the commander berated the Airman for his slowness and promised punishment, the Airman responded, "Sir, I have no stripes, it is 20 below zero, I'm stationed in Thule, and I am pumping sewage out of airplanes. Just what are you going to do to punish me?"
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Finally, have you ever stopped to think that only in America do we have a General in charge of the post office and a Secretary in charge of defense.
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Have A Happy Mamorial Day My Friends,
Phil