It's the same thing in instant messenger. You can say something in an instant message, and especially if you're conversing with someone of a different nationality, that may cause offense, and it's not what you say that might set them off but the perceived "tone" of it. Sometimes a person may have just had a bad day or they feel rushed or have to get offline or for whatever reason they don't take the time to think of how their words might look typed on a page, and then it's too late. The other person has been offended, they're ready to come to where you live and knock your block off, or they're asking you to remove them from your contact list. I'm very happy that I took the language I speak as a very important part of my education. (Hey I was born here! Why do I need to learn English?) That's what some people seem to think. But it's a very important thing! Grammatical errors in any language can cause problems for you. The english language is very complicated and if you're not careful you can say something meaning it one way and it comes out another way and someone gets really upset. As for the one time emailing thing. My advice if you care to take it would be to not assume that any reply is a request for information. Here's what I do. I have one email address for replies-any replies and if they just hit the reply button it goes there. But for the information requests, I use a hyperlink. mailto:otheremail@mydomain.com?subject=more_info They have to click the link to send a blank email to that address and it comes up with a subject line letting me know that they are indeed requesting information, and THEN I send them a link to my autoresponder WITH another reminder that says..THIS IS going to add you to my contact list. If you do not wish to be added, do not click this link! Sounds like a lot of work huh? Not really. And it's well worth not getting accused of spam or having to send a lot of emails explaining your intentions. Hope it helps, Becky

This all comes back to the "work" we do on our inner selves. There are times we have a thought and then don't speak when we know we ought to. There are times we have a thought and the words that come out of our mouth do not match our intention. Others hear the "unspoken" way before they hear your words. Work on who you are for others, work on your purpose for your life and the intentions that you put out. Work on "why" you do anything. I heard this wonderfully fun analogy on a Frazier show! The human psyche is like a sail boat, the conscious mind is the sailboat on top of the water yet down deeper are the workings of subconscious, and this steers the rudder. Love from Thea :)

Good Morning Bogdan, Thank you for the invite. I like the quotes you find-this on is very true. People have gotten upset with me because they thought I should have responded to their every word!. Karen

Bogdan and all, Very true statement indeed. With regards to the remarks by L. Willis Rynerson regarding his e-mails. It sounds to me like what he did was sp*am the list he sent to. I'm not sure of the contents of the e-mail he sent, but if it contained any ads, and he didn't have their permission to send to them, he sp*ammed them. If his e-mail was a request asking them for permission for him to send them the program he's involved in and they respond favourably - then he can "legitimately" send them his ads. Rebecca Beasley offers an excellent way to approach this in her post in this thread. "I told them that if they responded in any way this would be considered a request for more information" - You simply cannot do this. If someone writes back asking you to remove them, you can't "consider" that as a request for more information. Max Welton Elliot Lake, Ontario, Canada