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The Ten Cat Commandments
1. I am the Lord of thy house.
2. Thou shall have no other pets before me.
3. Thou shalt not ever ignore me.
4. I shall ignore thou when I feel like it.
5. Thou shalt be grateful that I even give thou the time
of day.
6. Remember my food dish and keep it full.
7. Thou shalt spend most of thy money on toys and gifts
for me.
8. Thou shalt always have thy lap ready for me to curl up in.
9. Thou shalt shower me with love and attention upon demand.
10. Above all, thou shalt do anything and everything it
takes to keep me happy.
A guy took his blonde girl friend to her first football game. They had
great seats right behind their team's bench... After the game, he asked
her how she liked the experience.
Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all
the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing
each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"
"Well, I saw them flip a coin and one team got it and then for the rest
of the game, all they kept screaming was: "Get the quarterback! Get the
quarterback!" Hel-l-l-lo! It's only 25 cents! I hate to think what they'd
do if it was a whole DOLLAR!!!!
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead find a magic mirror that
says, "I will grant you one wish, but if you lie, you will be
sucked up into the mirror forever!"
The brunette says, I think I’d like a Porsche," and the mirror
gives her a Porsche.
The redhead says, "I think I’d like a million dollars," and the
mirror gives her a million dollars.
The blonde says, I think--" and gets sucked up into the mirror.
Kathy Martin
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