This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was thehusband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out. The years went by and he continued to rip them out! Then one Christmas morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts. A malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts. Sometime later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting, which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing , tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good. About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, "Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you." "What do you mean?" asked his wife. "Well you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and these two fingers, I think I got most of them back in."

GASP! LOL! Luella May

AN OLD FARMER WENT TO TOWN TO SEE A MOVIE. THE TICKET AGENT ASKED, "SIR, WHAT'S THAT ON YOUR SHOULDER?" THE OLD FARMER SAID, "Oh, THAT'S MY PET ROOSTER, CHUCKY. WHEREVER I GO, CHUCKY GOES." I AM SORRY SIR," SAID THE TICKET AGENT. "WE CAN'T ALLOW ANIMALS IN THE THEATER." THE OLD FARMER WENT AROUND THE CORNER AND STUFFED THE BIRD DOWN HIS OVERALLS. HE RETURNED TO THE BOOTH, BOUGHT A TICKET, ENTERED THE THEATER AND SAT DOWN NEXT TO TWO OLD WIDOWS. THE MOVIE STARTED AND THE ROOSTER BEGAN TO SQUIRM. THE OLD FARMER UNBUTTONED HIS FLY SO CHUCKY COULD STICK HIS HEAD OUT AND WATCH THE MOVIE. "MARGE," WHISPERED THE WIDOW MILDRED. "WHAT?" SAID MARGE. "I THINK THE GUY NEXT TO ME IS A PERVERT." "WHAT MAKES YOU THINK SO?" ASKED MARGE. "HE UNDID HIS PANTS AND HE HAS HIS THING OUT," WHISPERED MILDRED. "WELL, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT," SAID MARGE. "HELL, AT OUR AGE WE'VE SEEN 'EM ALL" "I THOUGHT SO TOO," SAID MILDRED, "BUT THIS ONE'S EATIN' MY POPCORN!" http://www.momexecs.com/cgi-bin/team.cgi?id=Wa30871&action=show

Hi Linda, OH NO!!! Yuck!!! That's a little tooo much poetic justice. Your Friend Deborah

O my GOD CRAFTIE THATS "GROSS" GENE