Old Butch
John was in the fertilized egg business. He
had several hundred young layers (hens),
called 'pullets,' and ten roosters to fertilize
the eggs. He kept records, and any rooster
not performing went into the soup pot and
was replaced.
This took a lot of time, so he bought some
tiny bells and attached them to his roosters.
Each bell had a different tone, so he could
tell from a distance, which rooster was
performing.
Now, he could sit on the porch and fill out
an efficiency report by just listening to the
bells.
John's favorite rooster, old Butch, was a
very fine specimen, but this morning he
noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all!
When he went to investigate, he saw the
other roosters were busy chasing pullets,
bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the
roosters coming, could run for cover.
To John's amazement, old Butch had his bell
in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up
on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next
one.
John was so proud of old Butch, he entered
him in the Renfrew County Fair and he
became an overnight sensation among the
judges.
The result was the judges not only awarded
old Butch the No Bell Piece Prize but they
also awarded him the Pulletsurprise as well.
Clearly old Butch was a politician in the
making. Who else but a politician could figure
out how to win two of the most highly coveted
awards on our planet by being the best at
sneaking up on the populace and screwing
them when they weren't paying attention.