HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING
AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND THINKING, SURELY I CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD? WELL.....YOU'L LOVE THIS ONE!


MY NAME IS ALICE SMITH AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST. I NOTICED HIS DDS DIPLOMA, WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME.
SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK HAIRED BOY WITH THE SAME NAME HAD BEEN IN MY HIGH SCHOOL CLASS SOME 30-ODD YEARS AGO.

COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK THEN?

UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT.

THIS BALDING, GRAY HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS WAY TOO OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE, AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD ATTENDED MORGAN PARK HIGH SCHOOL .

'YES, YES I DID. I'M A MUSTANG!' HE GLEAMED WITH PRIDE.

'WHEN DID YOU GRADUATE?' I ASKED

HE ANSWERED, IN 1975. WHY DO YOU ASK?

'YOU WERE IN MY CLASS!' I EXCLAIMED.

HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY.

THEN THAT UGLY,

OLD,

BALD,

WRINKLED,

FAT A*SS,

GRAY HAIRED,

DECREPIT,

S*ON OF A B*ITCH ASKED.......

'WHAT DID YOU TEACH???

LOL!

The nicest thing I said to a wrinkled classmate was...he looks like a shorter Gordon Ramsay ...

and then I found out Chef Ramsay is a year younger than me, and what would I say about that?

He looks like a shar pei...

Kathleen one of my younger brothers had a shar pei and he named him Shadow. Ugliest dog I ever saw.

I have a cache of jokes going all the back to '07 and I found this one that really struck me as being funny.:)

Gotta love Sven and Olaf!

Sven and Olaf worked together in a Minnesota factory.... and both were laid off. So...dey went to the Unemployment Office together.

Asked his occupation, Olaf said, 'Panty stitcher. I sew da elastic onto da ladies cotton panties.'

The clerk looked up panty stitcher. Finding it classified as unskilled labor, she gave Olaf $300 a week in unemployment compensation.
Sven, when asked his occupation replied,
'Diesel fitter.'

The clerk looked up diesel fitter... and it was classified as a skilled job. So, the clerk gave Sven $600 a week in unemployment compensation.

When Olaf found this out, he was furious! He stormed back into the office to find out why his friend and co-worker was collecting double his benefits.

The clerk explained, 'Panty stitchers are
unskilled labor and diesel fitters are skilled labor.'

'Vat skill?' yelled Olaf. 'I sew da elastic on da panties. Olaf puts dem over his head and says, 'Yah... DIESEL FITTER.'

Reminds me of the in-laws stories of first coming to America...and going to the store to buy a vacuum cleaner, which one of them pronounced as "f*ck-youm cleaner" repeatedly to the salesman. Well, he got a vacuum cleaner, I guess after making the motions of vacuuming.