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Nick Sym

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Becoming Illegal
3/18/2009 1:43:36 AM
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Becoming Illegal (Actual letter from an Iowa resident
and sent to his senator) 


The Honorable Tom Harkin
731 Hart Senate Office Build ing
Phone (202) 224 3254
Washington DC, 20510 

Dear Senator Harkin, 

As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal
Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance.
I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security 
in an effort to determine the process for becoming an
illegal alien and they referred me to you. 

My primary reason for wishing to change my status from
U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill which was
recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted.
If my understanding of this bill's provisions is accurate,
as an illegal alien who has been in the  United States  
for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to
pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last
five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am
anxious to get the process started before everyone
figures it out. 

Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have
had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the
prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying
a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal
retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me
and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and
2005. 

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local
emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once
I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my
accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year. 

Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my
daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her
law school=20 applications, as well as 'in-state' tuition rates
for many colleges throughout the  United States  for my son.. 

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of
the burden of renewing my driver's license and making those
burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important
to me given that I still have college age children driving my car. 

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to
become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the
necessary forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you
for your assistance. 

You're Loyal Constituent, (hoping to reach 'illegal alien' status
rather than just a bonafide citizen of the USA) 

Donald Ruppert
Burlington ,  IA 


Get your Forms (NOW)!! 
Call your Internal Revenue Service at 1-800-289-1040. 

(Please pass this on to your friends so they can save on this great offer.)

   
 

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Peter Fogel

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Re: Becoming Illegal
3/18/2009 2:03:43 AM

Hi Nick,

It's a damn good letter. Shame it's all true and even worse. The guy does have a sense of humor though.

Wonder when they will understand the meaning of illegal and deal with it like the law demands?

Shalom,

Peter

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Beth Schmillen

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Re: Becoming Illegal
3/18/2009 4:12:51 AM







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Geketa Holman

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Re: Becoming Illegal
3/18/2009 7:10:14 AM
Hi Nicky,
 
I love the guys sense of humor but agree with Peter its a shame being illegal is more advantageous than being legal ..

One thing he forgot to add to the list was that his children would get special teachers and classes at the tax payers expense  to learn the native language and than of course not use it and  swear they did not know it when interacting with other natives. Press one for English and two for Spanish.

Blessings,

Geketa

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Myrna Ferguson

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Re: Becoming Illegal
3/18/2009 8:29:45 AM
Hi Nick,

I think we all need to copy that letter and send it in. So you have a translator we could use.  You know we will need it is Spanish.  Hummmmmm me thinks this is a good idea.
lol  :-)




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