Christmas Puns
What did Adam say the day before Christmas?
It's Christmas, Eve!
What does December have that other months don't have?
The letter D.
What is green, covered with tinsel and says, "Rabbit, rabbit?"
A mistle-toad.
What do monkeys sing at Christmas time?
Jungle Bells, Jungle bells.
What do Christmas trees and bad knitters have in common?
They both drop their needles.
What would you get if you ate the Christmas decorations?
Tinselitis.
What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?
A pineapple.
How do sheep in Spain say Merry Christmas?
Fleece Navidad!
Who delivers Christmas presents to little sharks?
Santa Jaws.
What do you call a letter that is sent up the chimney on Christmas eve?
Blackmail.
What's the best present for a train conductor?
Platform shoes.
What is a parent's favorite Christmas carol?
Silent Night.
How to cats greet each other at Christmas time?
A furry merry Christmas & Happy Mew Year.
What song do Santa's reindeer sing on his birthday?
Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.
You better get spruced up if you're going to sell Christmas trees.
What do you get if you cross a setter and a pointer?
A pointsetter.
Santa stores all the presents in the pole vault.
Santa Puns
What language does Santa Claus speak?
North Polish.
Where does Santa Claus go swimming?
The North Pool.
What kind of motorcycle would Santa ride?
A Holly Davidson
What is Santa Claus' favorite cereal?
Frosted Flakes.
What do you call Santa when he goes to the beach?
Sandy Claus.
How do Santa and Mrs. Claus travel?
On an icicle built for two.
Some children call him Santa Caus since there is Noel.
What name does Santa Claus use when he takes a rest from delivering presents?
Santa Pause!
Why will Santa go down your chimney on Christmas Eve?
Because it soots him.
If Santa and Mrs. Claus had a baby, what would he be?
A subordinate Claus.
What would Santa's grandfather be called?
Grandfather Claus.
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Claustrophobia !
Why does Santa have three gardens?
So he can ho, ho, ho.
When Santa has a barn dance, what does he call it?
A Ho Ho Ho Down.