Menu



error This forum is not active, and new posts may not be made in it.
Re: Seniors - don't mess with them!
12/4/2008 1:55:30 AM
Hi Mary....LOL I love them all.....

Almost Perfect Life

An old man is sitting on a park bench crying his eyes out. A young jogger comes by and asks him what is the matter.

The old man says, "I'm a multimillionare, I have a great big house, the fastest car in the world and I just married a beautiful blonde bombshell
who satisfies me every night in bed whether I like it or not (sob)."

The young jogger says, "Man, you have everything I have ever dreamed for in my life. What could be so wrong in your life that you are sitting
here in the park crying?"

The old man says, "I can't remember where I live."

God Bless,
Gaby

God Bless Everyone
+0
Mary Hannan

998
6209 Posts
6209
Invite Me as a Friend
Top 25 Poster
Person Of The Week
Re: Seniors - don't mess with them!
12/4/2008 7:12:17 PM

LOL Gaby!

This is too funny.  With someone not familiar with the lingo associated with personal computer, he would be totally confused and befuddled, by what we accept as the only way to go!

Apologies to all the computer literate recipients upfront...

You  have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to  REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of us who  sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on...


If Bud  Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, 'Who's on  First?' might have turned out something like  this:


COSTELLO  CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT


ABBOTT:  Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?


COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm  setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.  


ABBOTT: Mac?


COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.


ABBOTT:  Your computer?


COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy  one.


ABBOTT: Mac?


COSTELLO: I told you, my name's  Lou.


ABBOTT: What about Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get  stuffy in here?


ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with  Windows?


COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the  windows?


ABBOTT: Wallpaper.


COSTELLO: Never mind the  windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for  Windows?


COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use  to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you  have?


ABBOTT: Office .

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you  recommend anything?

ABBOTT: I just did.


COSTELLO: You just  did what?


ABBOTT: Recommend something.


COSTELLO: You  recommended something?


ABBOTT: Yes.


COSTELLO: For my  office?


ABBOTT: Yes.


COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend  for my office?


ABBOTT: Office.


COSTELLO: Yes, for my  office!


ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.


COSTELLO: I  already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my  computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

ABBOTT:  Word.


COSTELLO: What word?


ABBOTT: Word in  Office.


COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.


ABBOTT:  The Word in Office for Windows.


COSTELLO: Which word in office for  windows?

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue  'W'.


COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue 'w' if you don't start  with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have  anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT:  Money.


COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?


ABBOTT:  Money.


COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?


ABBOTT: It  comes bundled with your computer.


COSTELLO: What's bundled with my  computer?

ABBOTT: Money.


COSTELLO: Money comes with my  computer?


ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.


COSTELLO: I get a  bundle of money with my computer? How much?


ABBOTT: One  copy.


COSTELLO: Isn't it il legal to copy money?

ABBOTT:  Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.


COSTELLO: They can give  you a license to copy money?


ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN  IT!


(A few days later)


ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store.  Can I help you?

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer  off?


A
BBOTT: Click on  'START'............. 

+0
Mary Hannan

998
6209 Posts
6209
Invite Me as a Friend
Top 25 Poster
Person Of The Week
Re: Seniors - don't mess with them!
12/8/2008 8:04:28 PM

Sunday Paper

For all of us who are seniors---for all of you who know seniors--- and for all of you who will be seniors.
It pays to be able to laugh about it when you  are!  

"WHERE is my Sunday paper!?"     

The irate customer calling the newspaper office loudly demanded, wanting  to know where her Sunday edition was.

"Ma'am," said the newspaper employee, "Today is Saturday ....  The Sunday paper is not delivered until tomorrow, on Sunday."

There was quite a long pause on the other end of the phone, followed by a ray of recognition........  

As she was heard to mutter "Well, crap ... So that's why no one was at church today!"

+0
Mary Hannan

998
6209 Posts
6209
Invite Me as a Friend
Top 25 Poster
Person Of The Week
Re: Seniors - don't mess with them!
12/13/2008 9:52:09 AM

A Retiree's Problem

My  Wife  said, "Whatcha doin today?"

 I said, "Nothing."

 She said, "You did that yesterday!"

 I said, "I wasn't finished!!!!!!!"

+0
Nick Sym

4679
23156 Posts
23156
Invite Me as a Friend
Top 25 Poster
Person Of The Week
Re: Seniors - don't mess with them!
12/13/2008 1:05:51 PM




Breast Cancer Awareness On My Site! http://www.freewebs.com/nicksym Free exposure that works http://www.webbizinsider.com/Home.asp?RID=55242
+0


facebook
Like us on Facebook!