|
|
RE: Great announcement for Native Americans
8/8/2011 1:28:10 AM
|
Hi Myrna, Thought that we might want to lighten the Mood up just a bit. Here's a little Native American Humor. That Doesn't Sound Too Good This wagon train was heading across the desert, when all of a sudden the wagon master notices that on all sides of the valley, they were surrounded by Indians. He quickly forms the wagons into the "Hollywood" circle, to protect the families in the train. Nothing happens. Soon, drums are heard pounding out in the distance, BUM, bum, bum, bum, BUM, bum, bum, bum, BUM, bum, bum, bum.......(the famous Hollywood drum beat from the John Ford movies)
The wagon master tells the everyone, "I don't like the sound of this...."
From out in the distance, he hears a voice yelling, "We don't like the sound of it either. He's not our regular drummer!" _______________ Scout Vision An old Wild West fort is about to be attacked. The wily old General sends for his trusty Indian Scout. "You must use all your thirty years of skill in trying to estimate the sort of army we are up against here."
The trusty Indian Scout laid down and put his ear to the ground. "Heap large war party," he says, "maybe three hundred braves, four chiefs, two on black stallions, two on white stallions. All have war paint. Many many guns. Medicine man also with them."
"Good grief!" exclaims the General, "you can tell all of that just by listening to the ground?"
"No," replied the Indian, "I can see under the gate." _______________ Big Chief An Australian travel writer touring Canada was checking out of the Vancouver Hilton, and as he paid his bill said to the manager, "By the way, what's with the Indian chief sitting in the lobby? He's been there ever since I arrived."
"Oh that's 'Big Chief Forget-me Not'," said the manager. "The hotel is built on an Indian reservation, and part of the agreement is to allow the chief free use of the premises for the rest of his life. He is known as 'Big Chief Forget-me Not' because of his phenomenal memory. He is 92 and can remember the slightest details of his life."
The travel writer took this in, and as he was waiting for his cab decided to put the chief's memory to the test.
"G'dye, myte!" said the Aussie, receiving only a slight nod in return. "What did you have for breakfast on your 21st birthday?"
"Eggs," was the chief's instant reply, without even looking up, and indeed the Aussie was impressed.
He went off on his travel writing itinerary, right across to the east coast and back, telling others of Big Chief Forget-Me-Not's great memory. (One local noted to him that 'How' was a more appropriate greeting for an Indian chief than 'G'dye myte.')
On his return to the Vancouver Hilton six months later, he was surprised to see 'Big Chief Forget-me Not' still sitting in the lobby, fully occupied with whittling away on a stick.
"How," said the Aussie.
"Scrambled," said the Chief. _______________ Smoke Signals A guy traveling through the prairies of the USA stopped at a small town and went to a bar. He stood at the end of the bar, ordered a drink, and lit up a cigar.
As he sipped his drink, he stood there quietly blowing smoke rings.
After he blew nine or ten smoke rings into the air, an very angry American Indian got down of of his stool, stomped up to the man and said, "One more remark like that and I'll smash your face in!" _______________ The Box Of Chocolates A business woman was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road. As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride. With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car.
Resuming the journey, the business woman tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a white bag on the seat next to Sally.
"What's in bag?" asked the old woman.
"It's a box of chocolates. I got it for my husband."
"The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder she said,
"Good Trade." _______________ And finally, as always, my "Groaner" of the Day... Indian Shaman When an Indian Shaman succeeded in driving an evil spirit out of a beautiful maiden of the tribe, she exclaimed, "Thank you very much!" and proceeded to hug the medicine man.
The Shama's wife was angered by the maiden's touching gesture of gratitude, and told the maiden in no uncertain terms ... "Please don't squeeze the Shaman!" _______________ Have A Wonderful Week, Phil
|