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Roger Macdivitt .

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Re: Time for some smiles
10/5/2008 6:28:46 PM

Hi here's a useful tip

HOW TO CLEAN YOUR HOUSE

USING YOUR COMPUTER

1. Open a new file in your PC.
2 Name it  "Housework."
3. Send it to the RECYCLE BIN
4. Empty the  RECYCLE BIN
5. Your PC will ask you, "Are you sure you want  to delete housework permanently?"
6. Answer calmly, "Yes," and  press the mouse button  firmly....
7. All done.   Feel  better?

 

Roger

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Re: Time for some smiles
10/5/2008 6:32:02 PM
LOL Thanks Roger, that's one way to get rid of it

Thanks I needed that


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Re: Time for some smiles
10/5/2008 9:10:37 PM
There's an old Marine Corps tale about a lieutenant who inspected his Marines in the field, and afterward told the 'Gunny' that the men smelled bad.

The lieutenant's suggested solution was for the men to change their underwear.  The Gunny responded, 'Yes sir, I'll see to it immediately! ' The Gunny went straight to the squad tent and announced, '

The lieutenant thinks you guys smell bad, and wants you to change your underwear. Smith, you change with Jones, McCarthy, you change with Witkowsky, and Brown, you change with Schultz. Now get to it!'  

THE MORAL:
 
 
 
 
 
 
A candidate may promise 'change' in Washington , but don't count on things smelling any better.
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Re: Time for some smiles
10/5/2008 11:11:45 PM
The Power of Interpretation

Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert to Catholicism or leave Italy . There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal. He'd have a religious debate with the leader of the Jewish community. If the Jews won, they could stay in Italy ; if the Pope won, they'd have to convert or leave.

The Jewish people met and picked an aged and wise rabbi to represent them in the debate. However, as the rabbi spoke no Italian, and the Pope spoke no Yiddish, they agreed that it would be a 'silent' debate.

On the chosen day the Pope and rabbi sat opposite each other.

The Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers.

The rabbi looked back and raised one finger.

Next, the Pope waved his finger around his head.

The rabbi pointed to the ground where he sat.

The Pope brought out a communion wafer and a chalice of wine.

The rabbi pulled out an apple.

With that, the Pope stood up and declared himself beaten and said
that the rabbi was too clever. The Jews could stay in Italy !!!

Later the cardinals met with the Pope and asked him what had happened.


The Pope said, 'First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity. He responded by holding up a single finger to remind me there is still only one God common to both our beliefs.

'Then, I waved my finger around my head to show him that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground to show that God was also right here with us.

'I pulled out the wine and wafer to show that God absolves us of all our sins.
He pulled out an apple to remind me of the original sin.

'He bested me at every move and I could not continue.'


Meanwhile, the Jewish community gathered to ask the rabbi how he'd won.
'I haven't a clue' the rabbi said. 'First, he told me that we had three days to get out of Italy , so I gave him the finger.

'Then he tells me that the whole country would be cleared of Jews and I told him that we were staying right here.'

'And then what?' asked a woman.

'Who knows?' said the rabbi. 'He took out his lunch so I took out mine.'
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Re: Time for some smiles
10/6/2008 1:02:30 PM

 ROTFL    ROTFL    ROTFL    ROTFL    ROTFL

Unbelievably FUNNY!  Thanks! 





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