AUSSIE HUMOR BEWARE (adult enough)

An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand walks into a small village and sees a local sitting on his veranda patting his dog.

He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Kiwi .....
 
Australian ventriloquist:       'G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?'

Villager:                'The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie.'

Ventriloquist:             'Hello dog, how's it going mate?'

Dog:             'Yeah, doin' all right.'

Kiwi: (look of extreme shock)

Ventriloquist:      'Is this villager your owner?' (pointing at the villager)

Dog:                    'Yep'

Ventriloquist:                'How does he treat you?'

Dog:              'Yeah, real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the lake once a week to play.'

Kiwi:                   (look of utter disbelief)

Ventriloquist:               'Mind if I talk to your horse?'

Kiwi:                 'Uh, the horse doesn't talk either...I think.'

Ventriloquist:                   'Hey horse, how's it going?'

Horse:                 'Cool'

Kiwi: (absolutely dumbfounded)

Ventriloquist:                     'Is this your owner?' (Pointing at the villager)

Horse:            'Yep'

Ventriloquist:                  How does he treat you?

Horse:           'Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often and keeps me in the shed to protect me from the elements.'

Kiwi: (total look of amazement)

Ventriloquist:             'Mind if I talk to your sheep?'

Kiwi: (in a panic)            'The sheep's a f*****' liar.......'