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I wanted to share this article with you all, it was one of the most commented on post to by Website.
Nick
Finding Awareness at the Food Court
©Nick Grimshawe
I do not like food court food. As a result I take a lunch with me to work. Yesterday, as I walked to the mall food fair, where I usually sit to have lunch and read, before going outside for my walk, I felt my ham sandwich and banana would not be enough. I needed a little something else.
I went over to the sandwich counter and ordered a cream of Broccoli and Cheese soup, large size please.
I found a table and began my meal and pulled out my book Finding Your Way Home: A Soul Survival Kit by Melody Beattie.
I started a section entitled “Healing Fear”.
I finished my sandwich while I read, but ended up with a lot of soup to finish which I consumed quickly because I wanted to go on my walk. After the soup, I enjoyed my Banana, packed away my book and headed for the mall doors.
Now I need to step back for a minute to add one more thread so I can give you a clear picture of how all these pieces came together.
About a month prior I started to meditate using the Holosync method. This system takes you from your waking brainwave pattern in mainly beta waves to the deep undisturbed sleep of Delta brainwaves. Your first week consists of half hour meditations, which then become an hour.
This particular morning as I meditated unbelievably harsh hunger pangs disturbed my meditation. I knew this meant I was undergoing some kind of change within me but didn’t have a clue what that might be. I just persisted with the meditation, had breakfast and headed to work without another thought.
Back to the Present Time:
Now as I am heading out of the mall feeling a little uncomfortable with all the soup I consumed, I asked myself why I ordered the large size of soup. I had a choice of small, medium or large after all.
The answer popped immediately into my mind, “Because you fear not being full enough.”
I almost missed the significance of the answer. Then, bang, the universe did a zoom in…zoom out kind of thing and I stood stunned at the garbage receptacle with the empty bowl of soup in my hand.
Then all the wheels started churning away as I made it outside for my walk.
• What on earth would have caused me to have such a fear?
• No wonder I’ve battled a weight problems most of my life.
• Where did the fear come from?
Then whoa, this is not just about food! This is about everything! Finances, relationships, life!
A pattern of non-survival behaviour, never before seen, jumped into my view.
I clearly saw a string of decisions taken to assuage that fear of not being full enough.
As I write I am still exploring all the ramifications. I caught myself delving into childhood memories to see if I could spot the root cause of the fear, but I really don’t need to find it, that way leads away from knowing, into think (a much lower gradient).
This is a pretty ingrained automatic response mechanism. I know I will need to be vigilant to spot all the times this mechanism kicks in.
The joy, however, is I have moved an unconscious way of acting into conscious awareness. I cannot be the victim to this creation of mine, ever again, unless I allow myself to slip into unconsciousness.
Of course this brings me to the point I want to share with you.
All eastern philosophies have this as a central theme: live in the now! Be aware of this present moment. If you do, the unconscious behaviours you created to handle some past hurt or pain, cannot touch you.
Yet for me, an even more important point is the journey to self discovery is a path full of surprises, untold joy, and fulfillment which makes the effort worth the struggle to wake up from unconscious sleep and rise up into the light of conscious awareness.
Am I there yet? No. I doubt it is ever possible to be completely there while in human form. However that doesn’t negate the journey: the joy of trampling down the Great Way, learning, growing, shining, and lighting the path for other to see.
In reading this article I know you are with me, even if you haven’t formally recognized the path you’ve chosen to walk along.
At this precious moment, there are tears in my eyes, tears of joy, for despite all the suffering in this world, there is beauty and joy and peace enough for every single human being alive today.
Our responsibility, in our own lives, is to live with consciousness, so that others too will have the chance.
Nick Grimshawe
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