One for the girls

Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my shape to keep.
Please no wrinkles, Please no bags
And please lift my butt before it sags.
Please no age spots, Please no gray
And as for my belly, Please take it away.
Please keep me healthy, Please keep me young,
And thank you Dear Lord, For all that you've done.

Five tips for a woman.....
1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.
2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.
3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to You.
4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.
5. It is important that these four men don't know each other.

Foot Note:
One saggy boob said to the other saggy boob:
'If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts.'

Send this to five bright, funny women you know and make their day !!!

LEMONS and SUGAR

This should probably be taped to your bathroom mirror
where one could read it every day.
You may not realize it, but it's 100% true.

1. There are at least two people in this world
that you would die for.

2. At least 15 people in this world
love you in some way.

3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you
is because they want to be just like you.

4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone,
even if they don't like you.

5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you
before they go to sleep.

6. You mean the world to someone.

7. You are special and unique.

8. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.

9. When you make the biggest mistake ever,
something good comes from it.

10. When you think the world has turned its back on you
take another look.

11. Always remember the compliments you received.
Forget about the rude remarks.