Well, I hope it doesn't offend anyone and there is at least one or two here that send you into laughter bliss! ____________________________________________ What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan What is a Yankee? The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone. What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ? The position of the dirt bag Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it. What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? Doughnuts? Why is air a lot like sex? Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever. What do attorneys use for birth control? Their personalities. What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife? 45 lbs What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband? 45 minutes What's the fastest way to a man's heart? Through his chest with a sharp knife. Why do men want to marry virgins? They can't stand criticism. Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? Because those men already have boyfriends. What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving. Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex? Because they have cotton balls. What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW? A porcupine has the pricks on the outside. What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? "Are you sure it's mine?" Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex? Mace will do that to you. Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ? Everyone has the same DNA. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Breasts don't have eyes. Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi? He walks around saying "Yo." Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays? Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it. Where does an Irish family go on vacation? A different bar. Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby? They named him "Sum Ting Wong What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? A speech impediment. What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast? They're hiring. What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo? A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe". How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*! What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale? A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..." Why is there no Disneyland in China ? No one's tall enough to go on the good rides

where do you ever find this stuff - too funny.

Hello Sherie, You are too much girl ! Yes, I love this forum, keep up the fantastic job Sherie, and have a great evening. still lol respectfully, leaving laughing !!

Great stuff as always keep em coming

Hi Sherri, As usual, they were all good. The Bingo one brought back memories. A few years ago, when I lived in Massachusetts I was a cab driver. On Bingo night, all the cab companies sent their cabs out to the Bingo Halls. I was first in line by the door. It was getting late and they seemed to be taking forever. They were on the last game. I got out of my cab, yelled "Bingo" and jumped back in the cab and drove around the corner making myself the last cab in line. I noticed a commotion up ahead at the cab that had pulled up to be first in line. After the women all cleared their cards and were told that no one had Bingo because someone outside yelled BINGO the caller had to go over every single number again to get the game back on course. As soon as BINGO was over, the first five ladies out the door put a whooping on the cab driver in the front cab. That was so much fun. Your Friend Mike http://michaeljcaron.tripod.com http://lordofthebellyrings.tripod.com Please sign my guestbooks. Remember, when you sign a guestbook, you leave your URL Free Advertising