Hi Nick,
There you go again! I started the morning feeling a little down, then lo and behold, I opened my email, there you were, and now I am ready face the day with a Smile. Thanks my Good Friend.
Always Remember...
Now that I think about it, there are a few things I've learned since I have gotten older..
* I started out with nothing, I still have most of it.
* My wild oats have turned to prunes and All Bran.
* I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart.
* Funny, I don't remember being absent minded.
* If all is not lost, where is it?
* It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
* Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant.
* I wish the buck stopped here, I could use a few.
* Kids in the back seat may cause accidents; accidents in the back seat may cause kids.
* It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
* Only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.
* If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.
* When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess?
* It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere!
* The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
You know how sometimes you do just don't feel quite like yourself? Beware, something like this might happen to you as well...
Thought I'd let my doctor check me,
'Cause I didn't feel quite right. . .
All those aches and pains annoyed me
And I couldn't sleep at night.
He could find no real disorder
But he wouldn't let it rest.
What with Medicare and Blue Cross,
We would do a couple tests.
To the hospital he sent me
Though I didn't feel that bad.
He arranged for them to give me
Every test that could be had.
I was fluoroscoped and cystoscoped,
My aging frame displayed.
Stripped, on an ice cold table,
While my gizzards were x-rayed.
I was checked for worms and parasites,
For fungus and the crud,
While they pierced me with long needles
Taking samples of my blood.
Doctors came to check me over,
Probed and pushed and poked around,
And to make sure I was living
They then wired me for sound.
They have finally concluded,
Their results have filled a page.
What I have will someday kill me;
My affliction is OLD AGE.
Two older ladies were Chatting one evening, and not wanting to be outdone, Hattie Mae began telling Priscilla about how exciting her life was...
"Frankly, I have become quite a frivolous old gal since I saw you last, and a few changes have come into my life since then. I am seeing five gentlemen every day. As soon as I wake up, Will Power helps me get out of bed. I immediately go to see John. After that Charlie Horse comes along, and he really takes a lot of my time and attention.
When he leaves, Arthur Ritis shows up and stays for the rest of the day. However, he doesn't like to stay in one place very long, so he just takes me from joint to joint. Finally after such a busy tiring day, I'm really glad to be able to go to bed with Ben Gay. What a life!!
By the way, the preacher came by the other day. He said at my age, I should be thinking about the hereafter. I told him, 'Oh I do all the time. No matter where I am, in the parlor, upstairs, in the kitchen or down in the basement, I ask myself...'What am I here after?'"
Have A Blessed & Beautiful Day,
Phil
