She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the
watchful eyes of her young granddaughter as she'd done
many times before. After she applied her lipstick and
started to leave, the little one said, 'But Gramma, you
forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!'

My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy
Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him,
'62.' 
He was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, 'Did you
start at 1?' 

After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother
changed into old slacks and a droopy
blouse, took off her makeup, washed her face and
proceeded to wash her hai r. As she heard the children
getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin.
Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into
their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings.
As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with
a trembling voice, 'Who was THAT?' 
  
A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her
own childhood was like: 'We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard.  We rode
our pony.  We picked wild raspberries in the woods.' 
The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last  she said, 'I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!' 

My grandson was vi siting one day when he asked,
'Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?'   I mentally polished my halo while I asked,  'No, how are we alike?' 'You're both old,' he replied. 

A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word processor. She told him she was writing a story. 'What's it about?' he asked.
'I don't know,' she replied. 'I can't read.' 

 I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I  would point out something and ask what color it was. She
would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so
 I continued. At last she headed for the door, saying sagely,
 'Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself!' 

 When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered,
'It's no use, Grandpa. The mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights.' 

When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, 'I'm not sure.' 
'Look in your underwear, Grandpa,' he advised. 'mine says I'm four to six.' 

 A second grader came home from school and said to her gr
 and mother, 'Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make
 babies today.' The grandmother, more than a little  surprised, tried to keep her cool.  'That's  interesting,' she said, 'how do you make  babies?' 'It's simple,' replied the girl. 'You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'.' 

 Children's Logic: 'Give me a sentence about a public servant,' said a teacher. One of the small boys wrote: 'The fireman came down the ladder pregnant.'
The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. 'Don't you know what pregnant means?' she asked. 'Sure,' said the young boy confidently.
'It means carrying a child.' 

 A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past.  Sitting in the front seat of the truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties. 
'They use him to keep crowds back,'  said one child.  'No,' said another, 'he's just for good luck.'  A third child brought the argument to a close. They use the dogs,' she said firmly, 'to find the fire hydrants...