Hi Phil

Glad you enjoy my forum and good comeback with your quotes. I've addressed some below:

Eating Out

If the restaurant owner asks me where I want to sit, I reply, "Near a waiter!"

Men

A five day holiday requires only one suitcase 

Their underwear is $8.95 for a 3 pack

Can do their nails with a pocket knife

Can wear shorts no matter how their legs look

 Have the same hairstyle for years, even decades

Women

Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed

Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge  

Hi Lorraine

Good thinking. Elaine should have done the same and substituted Roger with chocolate!

Hi Carol

Glad you came by and enjoyed the article. Men are from Mars etc. etc. 

Hi Branka

This forum is always open to lovely ladies such as you!