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7/23/2007 12:24:00 PM
    Hi Jo, and thanks for the comment.
Phillip Black

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7/23/2007 2:31:29 PM

Hi Vince,

Thanks, once again, for the smiles & giggles.

Being in the Insurance Business all of these years, I'm certain that I've heard 1,000's of Lawyer Jokes, but this one is brand new to me.  I've been scouring my Brain to remember a couple that were clean enough to share, and this is the best I could do:


A lawyer calls his client to tell him about his fee schedule.

"Alright," the lawyer says looking through his papers. "You owe me $1000 down and $417.58 cents each month for the next thirty-six months.

"What! That sounds like a car payment schedule," retorted the client.

"Your right. It's mine."


The National Institute of Health (NIH) announced last week that they were going to start using lawyers instead of rats in their experiments. Naturally, the American Bar Association was outraged and filed suit. Yet, the NIH presented some very good reasons for the switch.

1. The lab assistants were becoming very attached to their little rats. This emotional involvement was interfering with the research being conducted. No such attachment could form for a lawyer.

2. Lawyers breed faster and are in much greater supply.

3. Lawyers are much cheaper to care for and the humanitarian societies won't jump all over you no matter what you're studying.

4. There are some things even a rat won't do.


A physician, an engineer, and an attorney were discussing who among them belonged to the oldest of the three professions represented. The physician said, "Remember, on the sixth day God took a rib from Adam and fashioned Eve, making him the first surgeon. Therefore, medicine is the oldest profession."

The engineer replied, "But, before that, God created the heavens and earth from chaos and confusion, and thus he was the first engineer. Therefore, engineering is an older profession than medicine."

Then, the lawyer spoke up. "Yes," he said, "But who do you think created all of the chaos and confusion?"


Hope at least one of these might put a smile on your face and a little spring in your step.

Bless You My Friend,


“There may be trouble all around, but I am calling you to a place of peace. Be still and know that I am God. Come to Me, and I will give you wisdom, strength, and grace for everything you face." Psalm 46:10
7/24/2007 11:28:48 AM
    Hi Phil,

great jokes. I loved them all buddy.

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