Dear Venerina
Of all the manifestations of love, possessiveness is the most colourful. In saying so, I am confining myself to only love between two people and no other, like love of money and other material things. Many people tend to look at possessiveness as a kind of by product of extreme love. They contend that it is one of the many ways that love expresses itself. But the question is not about the justifiability of possessiveness in a union of hearts but whether it helps love to progress. Possessiveness within moderate limits can be beautiful and there may be freaks who may even get turned on by a show of insane possessiveness but, like excessive sugar in the blood that wrecks silently all the vital organs in the body, it can wreck love over a period of time.
"Let there be spaces in your togetherness," says Kahlil Gibran, "And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another, but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.... Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping"
Let’s now look at what Osho has to say on love, the real and professed ones.
You "love" a person means you possess a person. You "love" a person means he cannot love anybody else. If he loves anybody else he is insulting you; he is proving that you are inferior, that there are better people, more lovable people than you are. It hurts the ego, it hurts your possessiveness, it hurts your monopolistic idea.
And basically it is cowardice, because you are not trying to face the facts about your love in a straightforward manner. It is not a question of your lover loving somebody else; the question is, do you love the person? And you are not brave enough to face that question. And that is the real question to be asked.
If I love the person then nothing matters. Love allows freedom. Love allows that whatever he feels like doing, he can do. Whatever he feels to be blissful, it is his choice.
If you love the person, then you don't interfere in his privacy. You leave that person's privacy undisturbed. You don't try to trespass his inner being. You don't want that he should say where he has been, why he is late in the night. That is not right at all.
It is his life: where he goes, and whether he comes late or not.... You have loved the person as he is -- and this is the way he is.
Love, as the immortal Nat King Cole sang, is a many splendored thing...
May true love always in!