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Beverly Kersey

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Re: My Favorite Ideas On Handling Stress, What's Yours!
10/28/2008 4:28:31 PM

Hi Sara,

 Thanks for stopping by. With probably the most important election facing us next week and the economy breaking all of our backs, when Mary ran across my old thread and commented, it reminded me that we could all use some stress relief. So here is another one. Please feel free to post all your stress reliefs here.

Ten Best things to say if you are caught sleeping at your desk:

10. "They told me at the blood bank this might happen."

9. "This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to."

8. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the White-Out. You probably got here just in time!"

7. "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm."

6. "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance."

5. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminatory toward people who practice yoga?"

4. "Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."

3. "The coffee machine is broken..."

2. "Someone must have put decaf in the wrong pot..."

And the #1 best thing to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk...

1. " .....Amen."

Beverly Kersey
Mary Hofstetter

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Re: My Favorite Ideas On Handling Stress
10/28/2008 7:05:50 PM

In the little town I was raised in, we had two doctors, One of which was Dr. Rice.  He had 2 sons, one of which worked in the grocery store.  Yes we did the refridgerator running thing too but we had a bonus.

We could call the the grocery store and ask if they had rice on the shelf.  "Well get him down and put him to work" would be our reply.

Beverly Kersey

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Re: My Favorite Ideas On Handling Stress
10/28/2008 11:00:43 PM

OMG Mary, I am so ROTFLO!! That is a great one!

ROTFLRolling On The Floor Laughing My A** Off Till I DieRolling On The Floor Laughing Out Loud And Peeing My Pants

Beverly Kersey
Beth Schmillen

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Re: My Favorite Ideas On Handling Stress
11/3/2008 1:49:32 AM

ok Bev, Mary and Sara...

Seems like my forum has been active ever since Mary took a look!

much funny stress-relieving humor...


Beverly Kersey

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Re: My Favorite Ideas On Handling Stress
11/3/2008 9:53:36 AM


  I hope I don't offend anyone! 

Angry Woman Holding Computer Wires And A Mouse

When you occasionally have a really bad day,and you just need to take it out on someone,don't take it out on someone you know,take it out on someone you don't know,but you know deserves it.

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying'Hello.'

I politely said,'This is Chris.Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?'

Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear 'Get the right f***ing number!' and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude.

When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits. After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled 'You're an asshole!' and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer.

Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, 'You're an asshole!' It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my theraputic 'asshole' calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, 'Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company.

I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?'

He yelled 'NO!' and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back and said, 'That's because you're an asshole!' and hung up.

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking Spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a 'For Sale ' sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had is number on speed dial,)

I thought that I'd better call the BMW asshole, too. I said, 'Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?'

He said, 'Yes, it is.'

I then asked, 'Can you tell me where I can see it?'

He said, 'Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax It's a yellow ranch style house and the car's parked right out in front.'

I asked, 'What's your name?'

He said, 'My name is Don Hansen,'

I asked, 'When's a good time to catch you, Don?'

He said, 'I'm home every evening after five.'

I said, 'Listen, Don, can I tell you something?'

He said, 'Yes?'

I said, 'Don, you're an asshole!'

Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call. Then I came up with an idea...

I called asshole #1. He said, 'Hello.'

I said, 'You're an asshole!' (But I didn't hang up.)

He asked, 'Are you still there?'

I said, 'Yeah!'

He screamed, 'Stop calling me,'

I said, 'Make me,'

He asked, 'Who are you?'

I said, 'My name is Don Hansen.'

He said, 'Yeah? Where do you live?'

I said, 'Asshole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax , a yellow ranch style home and I have a black Beamer parked in front.'

He said, 'I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers.'

I said, 'Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole,' and hung up.

Then I called Asshole #2.

He said, 'Hello?'

I said, 'Hello, asshole,'

He yelled, 'If I ever find out who you are...'

I said, 'You'll what?'

He exclaimed, 'I'll kick your ass,'

I answered, 'Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now.'

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax , and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.

Then I called Channel 7 News about the gang war going down in Oaktree Blvd in Fairfax. I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax

I got there just in time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news crew.

NOW I feel much better.

Anger management really does work

Beverly Kersey

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