Hello Again John,
It's so refreshing to have so many smiles and happy posts that we can share a laugh over. People can be so serious around here sometimes.
Anyway, speaking of Lawyers and the Judicial System, here's a few more you might like...
After a laborious two-week criminal trial in a very high-profile bank robbery case, the jury finally ended its 14 hours of deliberations and entered the courtroom to deliver its verdict to the judge.
The judge turned to the jury foreman and asked, "Has the jury reached a verdict in this case?"
"Yes we have, Your Honor," the foreman responded.
"Please pass it to me," the judge declared, as he motioned for the bailiff to retrieve the verdict slip from the foreman and deliver it to him.
After the judge read the verdict himself, he delivered the verdict slip back to his bailiff to be returned to the foreman. He then instructed the foreman, "Please read your verdict to the court."
"We find the defendant NOT GUILTY of all four counts of bank robbery," announced the foreman.
The family and friends of the defendant jumped for joy at the sound of the "not guilty" verdict, and they hugged each other as they shouted expressions of divine gratitude. The defendant's attorney turned to his client and asked, "So, what do you think about that?"
The defendant looked around the courtroom slowly with a bewildered look on his face and then turned to his defense attorney and said, "I'm real confused here. Does this mean that I have to give all the money back?"
A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial - it went like this:
Q. Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?
A. No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away.
Q. Officer, who provided this description?
A. The officer who responded to the scene.
Q. A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?
A. Yes sir, with my life.
Q. With your life? Let me ask you this then officer - do you have a locker room in the police station - a room where you change your clothes in preparation for you daily duties?
A. Yes sir, we do.
Q. And do you have a locker in that room?
A. Yes sir, I do.
Q. And do you have a lock on your locker?
A. Yes sir.
Q. Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, that you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with those same officers?
A. You see sir, we share the building with a court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.
With that, the courtroom erupted in laughter, and a prompt recess was called. The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's "Best come-back" line and we think he'll win.
A judge in a semi-small city was hearing a drunk-driving case. The defendant, who had both a record and a reputation for driving under the influence, demanded a jury trial.
It was nearly 4:00 p.m. and getting a jury would take time, so the judge called a recess and went out into the hall looking to impanel anyone available for jury duty. He found a dozen lawyers in the main lobby and told them that they were a jury. The lawyers thought this would be a novel experience, and so they followed the judge back into the courtroom.
The trial was over in about 10 minutes, and it was very clear that the defendant was guilty. The jury went into the jury room, the judge started getting ready to go home, and everyone waited. After nearly three hours, the judge was totally out of patience and sent the bailiff into the jury room to see what was holding up the verdict.
When the bailiff returned, the judge said, "Well, have they got a verdict yet?"
The bailiff shook his head and said, "Verdict? They're still doing nominating speeches for the foreman's position!"
Have A Happy Weekend,
Phil
