If you've liked the Texan story, you'll LOVE this. I hope I spelled the subject correctly, but in case I didn't, I'll tell you that the person I'm talking about is from Hawaii. This is when I was, yet again, in Air Force basic training. I slept in a bed next to this guy from Hawaii. He was a nice guy, but when it was sleepy time, his inner beast awoke. This guy had sleep apnea, so whenever he took a snooze, he would snore very, very loudly. Well one night, a couple of the other guys had decided they've had enough of this guy's snoring, so they thought waking him up would quiet him down. A good plan, but it was easier said than done. Their first plan of action was to yell "Hey, dude, shut up" When that didn't work, they yelled louder. Still asleep. It was time to take it up a notch. They resorted to throwing rolled up socks at him. Nothing. They were losing their patience and their hope for a good night sleep. When they were just about to give up, one of them noticed that the Hawaiian's mouth was opened. The idea that popped into his head at that moment may shock you. He decided to put that idea into motion. He walked up to the sleeping islander, bent over, and farted into his gapping maw. Not just once, mind you, but twice. They weren't silent sneakers either. These were bordering on solid mass, megaphone farts. And wouldn't you guess it, he still didn't wake up. But remember who had the bed right next to him? Yours truly of course. As punishment for not smelling poo the whole night, I smelled poo the rest of the night. I wonder what that guy's breakfast tasted like the next morning?