Recently I was on an airplane going from Detroit, Michigan to San Antonio, Texas. Now I can be a moderately gassy person, but this particular day my bowels were mixin' up a perfect storm. As I found my seat on the plane, I noticed an old Texan walking down the aisle as he tried to find his. How do I know he was a Texan? That part is coming up. The plane was in the air for a good twenty minutes when all of the sudden, without warning, my back side turned the valve to my gas chamber. That means I farted. Luckily for me, it was a silent spurt that no one, not even myself, could hear. Unfortunately for the Texan, who was sitting behind me with the air next to the light blowing in his face, it was going to be a bad thirty seconds. The next thing I hear shortly after I released the noxious cloud was "Craps all mighty, what the Hell is that?! I think I'm gonna throw up!" Only a Texan would say something that hilarious and loud in that situation on an airplane with dozens of other passengers sitting there. And the air next to the light that was blowing in his face could have, I imagine, amplified the smell even more. I think he discovered I was the farter when I started laughing hysterically at what had just been said. That, in my opinion, was the greatest flight ever.

Stop it!   ROTFL   Stop it!

You crack me up!  You should write a book, or draw one.  I keep telling you that!  Be a comedian, go to the club, you can't see the audience anyway, its dark there.  You'll be the only one sober.

Jayson,

This is very funny.  Your Mom is right.  You need to share your funny experiences.  Just keep it clean and stay sober.

There is no better way to fight boredom than to be a help and service to others starting with your own family.  Make it your goal to be a blessing to others and you will find fulfillment that is far more satisfying that PC games. :).

Have a great day.

Duane C.

www.kilroyinc.ws

 

 

Thanks for the reply. You know, that wasn't the only dumb thing to happen on that plane. My whole flight was one big blunder after another. I'm like a magnet for stupid! For instance, after I drank the Sprite the flight attendant gave me, I fell asleep. I forgot to turn my tray to it's upright position, so when I leaned forward during my snooze, I bonked my head on it. I woke up immediately, but I didn't say "Ow" or something like that. Instead I gave a little whimper, kind of like what a dog would do if you give him a smack on the nose with a news paper. It couldn't have been less masculine. The lady across the aisle from me gave me a look like she thought I was about to cry. It was the kind of look that said "Awww, you want me to buy you a candy bar, little fella?" I felt like such a punk.