This is hysterical. If it had been
presented this way,
I don't believe any of us would have done
it!!!!
POSITION :
Mom, Mommy, Mama,
Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop
JOB DESCRIPTION :
Long term, team players
needed, for challenging
permanent work in an, often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication and
organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours,
which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required,
including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports
tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
RESPONSIBILITIES :
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the
physical stamina of a pack mule and be able
to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time,
the screams from the backyard are not someone
just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets
and stuck
zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate
production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and
organize social gatherings
for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the
next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million
cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the
best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete
accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also
include floor maintenance and
janitorial work throughout the
facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :
None.
Your job is to
remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly
retraining and updating your skills,
so that those in your charge can
ultimately surpass you
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :
None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a
continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION :
Get this! You pay them, offering frequent raises and
bonuses.
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the
assumption that college will help them become financially independent.
When
you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this
reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only
do more.
BENEFITS :
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition
reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered;
this job
supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth
and free hugs and
kisses for life if you play your cards right.
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated for the fabulous job they do...
or
forward with love to anyone thinking of applying for the job
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