The Big Small Things

When we think about people who have made a difference in the world we tend to think of the “big names”, like Mother Theresa, Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr. and many of the great names in history. We seldom think of Aunt Edith, or cousin Ray, or Granddad White. Rarely do we rate ourselves among the earthmovers or world shakers. Yet, we touch lives every day, with our tiny kindnesses, which often lead to profound changes of which, we remain forever ignorant. 

You wish a stranger, you pass in the street, a good day with a smile. That smile and good wishes change that person’s outlook on life. Maybe it isn’t so bad after all. Instead of carrying out their plan to take their own life, they decide instead to seek help. Years later they win the Nobel Peace prize. You never realize your simple courtesy changed the course of a life.

Here is a true-life story as related by a regional sales manager at a business meeting held not too long ago.

The regional manager talked about the stress of presenting businesses plans to a group of your peers, especially if you are new to your position. He talked about a new sales manager, he just wanted to make comfortable because he could see they were nervous.

He asked the sales manager if she had any successes on her first few weeks on the job.

“Nothing really big.”

“Well did you do any coaching that led to a change in behaviour?”

“Well,” began the sales manager shyly, “ I did talk to an associate about not speaking to her customers. I wanted to find out why she didn’t speak very often to our customers, which created a situation where she was viewed as an underperforming associate.”

The new sales manager heard the stories on the sales floor that this associate would never make it. They didn’t think she could succeed because she refused to talk to the customers unless she absolutely had to.

Instead of going in with the intention of moving the associate off the sales floor, she decided to first find out why the associate didn’t talk to other customers.

The sales manager took the person off the sales floor, sat her down in an office, and made sure the associate was comfortable.

The sales manager described the behaviour she observed, then asked the associate why she didn’t want to talk to her customers.

“It’s my accent,” she replied. “I have a terrible accent and I am afraid that people won’t understand me, so I try to help the customer without speaking to them.”

“But you have a wonderful accent, I can understand you easily. Your accent makes you sound very worldly. I am sure our customer would have no trouble understanding you.”

“Do you really think so?”

“Yes of course. I want you to go back out their and talk to every customer you see.”

So, the associate went back out onto the sales floor and began to talk to the customers. The customer commendations started flooding in and the associate was thrilled to have found her voice.

As far as the story goes, this is a great success. Just by listening to the associate and seeking to understand the why behind her behaviour, the sales manager made a profound change in her life. But the story doesn’t end there.

The associate had a young son she walked to school every morning. As they walked to school, the son wondered why his mother never spoke to anyone. He was proud of his Mum but with her strange behaviour, she began to embarrass him. He began to dread going to school with his mother. He wanted her to talk to the other parents and his teachers. The other kids at school made comments. He began to think of ways to discourage his mother from taking him to school.

Then a miracle happened. As they walk to the school, shortly after his mother had talked to the sales manager at work, she began to say hello to other parents and introduce herself. Soon everyone knew who she was and began to ask her to come to events at the school. She started to socialize with other parents.

Overjoyed with the change, her son recovered his pride in his mother and stopped brooding about her behaviour. The quality of his life changed now he could visit his friends in the neighbourhood because his mother no longer worried about her accent.

Two lives changed because someone took a moment to truly listen, then to understand the behaviour of another person. The sales manager’s small, caring action lead to unforeseen positive changes.

Don’t belittle your efforts. A smile can change the world. A simple good morning can spark a flame of inspiration.

By your presence and your kindness, you have changed the world for the better more times, than you can imagine.

Thank You.