Too Hot, Too Cold
A customer was bothering the waiter in a restaurant. First, he asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour.
Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, he walked back and forth and never once got angry. So finally, a second customer asked him why he didn't throw out the pest.
"Oh, I really don't care or mind," said the waiter with a smile. "We don't even have an air conditioner."
You Know You've Turned Into a Mom When...
- You automatically double-knot everything you tie.
- You find yourself humming the Barney song as you do the dishes.
- You hear a baby cry in the grocery store, and you start to gently sway back and forth, back and forth. However, your children are at school!
- You actually start to like the smell of strained carrots mixed with applesauce.
- You weep through the scene in Dumbo when his mom is taken away, not to mention what Bambi does to you.
- You get so into crafts you contemplate writing a book called 101 Fun Crafts to do with Dryer Lint and Eggshells.
- You spend a half hour searching for your sunglasses only to have your teenager say, "Mom, why don't you wear the ones you pushed up on your head?"
- You are out for a nice romantic meal with your husband, enjoying some real adult conversation, when suddenly you realize that you've reached over and started to cut up his steak!
Albanian Manufacturers
An American manufacturer is showing his machine factory to a potential customer from Albania. At noon, when the lunch whistle blows, two thousand men and women immediately stop work and leave the building.
"Your workers, they're escaping!" cries the visitor. "You've got to stop them."
"Don't worry, they'll be back," says the American. And indeed, at exactly one o'clock the whistle blows again, and all the workers return from their break.
When the tour is over, the manufacturer turns to his guest and says, "Well, now, which of these machines would you like to order?"
"Forget the machines," says the visitor. "How much do you want for that whistle?"
GOD BLESS YOU ALL,
MARILYN
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