"Talking Dog For Sale."

He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks.

"Yes," the Lab replies.

 "So, what's the story?"

The Lab looks up and says:   "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young.  I wanted to help the government, so I told my congressman about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.  I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running." "But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. 

I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover Security wandering near suspicious characters and listening  in.  I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.  I got married, had a load of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

"Ten dollars," the man says.

"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing.  Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"

"Because he's a liar.  He never did any of that shit!!"