On this page, Ribtickler I, you will find Pastor's Notes, Laugh Lines, Mouth of Babes, Quick Quotes, Marital Arts, God's Critters and the week's Q and A.

Ribtickler II has Golden Years, Poet's Corner, We have Questions, Military Madness, Parenting, Crime Watch and In the News.

While we try our best to provide jokes and fun that can be shared with everyone in the family we also try to pick on no one culture, race, color, creed or gender . . . too much. 

Enjoy the laughs, we enjoy bringing them to you.

There is a special fund-raiser for a new septic tank.

Finding and returning lost sheep is not just a parable. 

You miss worship one Sunday morning and by 2 o’clock that afternoon you have had a dozen calls inquiring
about your health. 

People wonder when Jesus fed 5000 whether the two fish were bass or catfish. 

The final words of the benediction are, "Y’all come on back now, ya hear?" 

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak 

I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me! 

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. 

So you're a feminist...Isn't that cute! 

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes. 

The gene pool could use a little chlorine. 

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math. 

Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes. 

The father being modern and well-schooled in handling children, hid his smile behind his hand. 

"That's a serious step," he said. "Have you thought it out completely?" 

"Sure," his young son answered. "We can spend one week in my room and the next in hers. It's right across the street, so I can run home if I get lonely in the night." 

"How about transportation?" the father asked. 

"I have my wagon, and we both have our tricycles," the little boy answered. 

The boy had an answer to every question the father raised. 

Finally, in exasperation, the man asked, "What about babies? When you're married, you're liable to have babies, you know." 

"We've thought about that, too," the little boy replied. "We're not going to have babies. Every time she lays an egg, I'm going to step on it!"
~~~~~
My husband was bending over to tie my three-year-old's shoes.  That's when I noticed my son Ben staring at my husband's head.  He gently touched the slightly thinning spot of hair and said in a concerned voice, "Daddy, you have a hole in your head.  Does it hurt?"

After a pause, I heard my husband's murmured reply, "Not physically."

   I'm affectionately known by Elton John as either Sylvia Disc or the Bionic Christian. 
-- Sir Cliff Richard 

   You know you're getting fat when you can pinch an inch on your forehead. 
-- John Mendoza  

   As you get older, the pickings get slimmer, but the people don't. 
-- Carrie Fisher  

   As we grow older, our bodies get shorter and our anecdotes longer. 
-- Robert Quillen 

   People say that age is just a state of mind. I say it's more about the state of your body. 
-- Geoffrey Parfitt  

"Well, it dates back to our honeymoon, " explained the husband. "We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon by pack mule. We hadn't gone too far when my wife's mule stumbled.

My wife quietly said 'That's once.'

We proceeded a little further when the mule stumbled again. Once more my wife quietly said, 'That's twice.'

We hadn't gone a half-mile when the mule stumbled a third time. My wife promptly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the mule.

I started to protest over her treatment of the mule when she looked at me and quietly said, "That's once."
~~~~~
Love may be blind, but marriage Is a real eye-opener!
 

The Frog said, "If you kiss me I will turn into a beautiful young woman."

The old man put the frog in his pocket and started to walk again.

The second old man said, "Aren't you going to kiss that Frog?"

The first old man replied, "I think I would rather have a talking Frog."
~~~~~~~
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

Q. What do they call pastors in Germany?
A. German Shepherds.

Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?
A. The area around the Jordan-the banks were always overflowing.

Q. Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible?
A. When Joseph served in Pharaoh's court.

Q: Which Bible character had no parents?
A: Joshua, son of Nun.

Q: How do we know that they played cards in the ark?
A: Because Noah sat on the deck.

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