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This woman wanted to marry a ghost. I don't know what possessed her!
Have you heard about the good weather witch?
She's forecasting sunny spells!
Which is the only day you you are safe in a cannibal village?
Sitter days (when they eat the baby-sitter instead)!
How do witches tell the time?
By looking at their witch watches!
What was the Californian vampire hippy like?
He was ghoul man, real ghoul!
What happens if you see twin witches?
You won't be able to see which witch is witch!
Why did the boy carry a clock and a bird on Halloween?
It was for "tick or tweet"!
What do ghosts say when a girl footballer is sent off?
Ban-she Ban-she!
What do vampires have at eleven o'clock every day?
A coffin break!
Why did the baby witch smile when she came out in blotches?
Because it was an 'appy rash!
Why was the little boy unhappy to win first prize for the best costume at the Halloween party?
Because he just came to pick up his sister!
Why didn't the cannibal eat Mike Tyson?
He thought he would give him a paunch!
Why did the witch wear a green felt pointy hat?
So she could walk across snooker tables without being seen!
What has six legs and flies?
A witch giving her cat a ride!
What has handles and flies?
A witch in a dustbin!
Why don't cannibals eat weathermen?
Because they give them wind!
What is evil and ugly and bounces?
A witch on a trampoline!
Why did the witch put her broom in the wash?
She wanted a clean sweep!
What are little ghosts dressed in when it rains?
Boo-ts and ghoul-oshes!
How does a vampire like his food served?
In bite sized pieces!
Q: What's the unluckiest kind of cat to have?
A: A catastrophe!
Q: Who was the most powerful cat in China?
A: Chairman Miaow!
Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with a tree?
A: A cat-a-logue!
Q: What do you call a cat with eight legs that likes to swim?
A: An octopuss!
Q: Why did the cat join the Red Cross?
A: Because she wanted to be a first-aid kit!
Q: When the cat's away.....?
A: The house smells better!
Q: Why was the cat so small?
A: Because it only ate condensed milk!
Q: Why did the cat cross the road?
A: It was the chicken's day off!
What do you get if you cross a cow with a camel?
Lumpy milkshakes!
What is the definition of a goose?
An animal that grows down as it grows up!
Why did Bo Peep lose her sheep?
She had a crook with her!
What do you give a pony with a cold?
Cough Stirrup!
What animal always goes to bed with its shoes on?
A horse!
What happens when geese land in a volcano?
They cook their own gooses!
What do you call a pig with no clothes on?
Streaky bacon!
What is a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis!
What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?
An udder failure!
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment!
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