A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him ". A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute." A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill." The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.' A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."   A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face." "Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty." The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.

Hello Vince,

How cute, kids are so wise!!!

Ahh, the wisdom of children!
 Through the years I've collected some funny stories, among them what children say. Here's a few of them asked to children and their replies and all about their moms. I can't claim they're mine though I picked them up somewhere. Enjoy!

Why did God make mothers?

 

·         1.-She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.

·         2.-Think about it, it was the best way to get more people.

·         3.-Mostly to clean the house.

How did God make mothers?

 

·         1.- He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.

·         2.- Magic, plus super powers, and a lot of stirring.

·         3.- God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?

 

·         1.- We're related.

·         2.- God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.

What ingredients are mothers made of?

 

·         1- God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.

·         2.-They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string. I think.

What kind of little girl was your mom?

 

·         1.- My mom has always been my mom, and none of that other stuff.

·         2.- I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.

·         3.- They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?

 

·         1.- His last name.

·         2.- She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on Beer? Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores.

Why did your mom marry your dad?

 

·         1.- My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.

·         2.- She got too old to do anything else with him.

·         3.- My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

What makes a real woman?

 

·         1.- It means you have to be really bossy without looking bossy.

Who's the boss at your house?

 

·         1.- Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because Dad's such a goofball.

·         2.- Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.

·         3.- I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than Dad.

What's the difference between moms and dads?

 

·         1.- Moms work at work, and work at home, and Dads just got to work at work.

·         2.- Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.

·         3.- Dads are taller and stronger, but Moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you gotta ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.

What does your mom do in her spare time?

 

·         1.- Mothers don't do spare time.

·         2.-To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What's the difference between moms and grandmas?

 

·         1.- About 30 years.

·         2.- You can always count on grandmothers for candy. Sometimes moms don't even have bread on them!

Describe the world's greatest mom.

 

·         1.- She would make broccoli taste like ice cream!

·         2.- The greatest mom in the world wouldn't make me kiss my fat aunts!

·         3.- She'd always be smiling and keep her opinions to herself.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?

 

·         1.- She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.

·         2.- I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.

Is anything about your mom perfect?

 

·         1.- Her teeth are perfect, but she bought them from the dentist.

·         2.- Her casserole recipes. But we hate them.

·         3.- Just her children!