The instances of faulty writing serve to confirm that even incompetent writing may be highly entertaining.

• Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.

• The other car collided with mine without giving me warning of its intention.

• I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it.

• I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

• A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

• The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve several times before I hit him.

• I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother in law and headed over the embankment.

• In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

• I had been shopping for a plant all day and was on my way home. As I reached an inter-section a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.

• I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

• I was on the way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident and damage my big end.

• As I approached the intersection a sign appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.

• To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I stuck a pedestrian.

• My car was legally parked as it backed into another vehicle.

• An invisible car came out of nowhere, stuck my car and vanished.

• I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat I found that I had a fractured skull.

• I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.

• The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run. So I ran over him.

• I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car.

• The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

• I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.

• The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out the way when I struck the front end.

• The accident was caused by me waving to the man I hit last week.

• I knocked over a man, he admitted it was his fault as he'd been knocked over before.

Last updated:   20 March 2000