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Sheri Webber

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TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!
12/19/2006 1:43:16 PM
LOST IN THE DARNDEST PLACES:
An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she cried. The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way." A few minutes later, the officer radios in. "Disregard." He says. "She got in the back-seat by mistake."

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FAMILY

Three sisters ages 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together. One night the 96 year old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?"
The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see." She starts up the stairs and pauses "Was I going up the stairs or down?"
The 92 year old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful,knock on wood." She then yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door."

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"I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!"

Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day. One remarked to the other, "Windy, isn't it?" "No," the second man replied, "it's Thursday." And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a beer."

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LITTLE LADY:

A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say "Supersex." She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him, she said, "Supersex." He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, "I'll take the soup."

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OLD FRIENDS
Now this one is just too Precious...lol
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades.
Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me ... I know we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is." Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"

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SENIOR DRIVING

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77. Pl ease be careful!" "Heck," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"

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DRIVING

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through.
The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself "I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light." After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red again. Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous. At the next intersection,
sure enough, the light was red and they went on through. So, she turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!"
Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh, crap, am I driving
?"
Sheri Webber CCH, CRP Certified Consulting Hypnotherapist | Certified Raindrop Practitioner Soul Comfort Wellnes Centre Young Living Independent Distributor 913479 | It Works Marketing Independent Distributor 58745 http://www.soulcomfortwellnesscentre.com | http://www.soulcomforthypnosis.com | http://www.soulcomfort.younglivingworld.com | http://www.soulcomfort.itworks.net
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Marty Bromberg

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Re: TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!
12/19/2006 4:24:14 PM

Hey Sherri,

Mr Grant, a 91 year old man wakes up in the morning and tells his wife,.....Rosie I feel fantastic.I feel like a new born baby.Rosie say's I could understand that,..,.your bald,you have no teeth,and you pee in your pants.

Mr Foster  a gentleman of 93 goes to the Dr. for his annual Exam.The Dr. says, Mr. Foster I will need a urine sample,a stool sample,and a blood  sample.Mr. Foster replies  Hey Doc..why don't you just take my underwear.

Let's Keep Laffin! Life is to Short!

MartyB

 

www.martyb.webprosperity.com I WAS LUCKY ENOUGH TO GET ADVANCE NOTICE ABOUT WEBPROSPERITY AND IT LOOK'S LIKE IT WILL BE A POWERFUL PROGRAM FOR ALL THOSE WHO JOIN! RIGHT NOW WEBPROSPERITY IS STILL FREE TO JOIN SO TAKE A LOOK AT IT HERE, BEFORE IT IS NO L
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Marilyn L Martin

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Re: TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!
12/20/2006 4:02:17 AM

Hello Sheri,

LOL! Now those jokes are just too funny! I loved them all!

Marty, you had a couple good ones there as well! LOL!

Thanks for a good laugh...I needed that tonight!

God Bless,

Marilyn

Marilyn L Martin
"The ALP & TGAMM Couple"
"Rick & Marilyn Martin...Married 11/17/06"
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