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Why did the stupid witch keep her clothes in the fridge?
She liked to have something cool to slip into in the evenings!
What happened when the cannibals ate a comedian?
They had a feast of fun!
What do you call a ghost's mother and father?
Transparents!
Who plays centre forward for the vampire football team?
The ghoulscorer!
Why did the witch give up fortune telling?
There was no future in it!
Why was everyone tickled by the fried chicken at the Halloween party?
Because the feathers were still on the chicken!
What did the doctor say to the witch in hospital?
With any luck you'll soon be well enough to get up for a spell!
How do you know if you have a tough mosquito?
You slap him and he slaps you back!
What is the most religious insect?
A mosque-ito!
What has 6 legs, bits and talks in code?
A morese-quito!
What is the difference between a mosquito and a fly?
Try sewing buttons on a mosquito!
What do you get if you cross the Lone Ranger with an insect?
The Masked-quito!
What has antlers and sucks blood?
A moose-quito!
What is a mosquito's favorite sport?
Skin-diving!
What's the difference between a lawyer and a mosquito?
A mosquito drops off you when you die!
Why are mosquitos religious?
They prey on you!
Why did the mosquito go to the dentist?
To improve his bite!
Why is Russia a very fast country?
Because the people are always Russian!
How do you cure a headache?
Put your head through a window and the pane will just disappear!
What did one virus say to another?
Stay away! I think I've got penicillin!
What happens when plumbers die?
They go down the drain!
Your ugly.
And you're drunk.
Yes, but in the morning I'll be sober!
How do you stop a cold getting to your chest?
Tie a knot in your neck!
What is the fastest thing in water?
A motor pike!
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