Last night I sat down and had a long talk with my mother about my depression. I guess the reason I wanted to talk to her was because if a mother has a son who says the words I do not want to live out loud to himself I would think a mother would want to know about it.  She asked me if I would ever hurt myself I said no although I feel like I am loosing my mind. Friends have told me that I need to snap out of it.  I am trying to find the right words to explain what my ocd and depression is like and the best way I can explain it is I feel like I am a curse to everyone. Woman have a hard time getting close to me because of my ocd. I feel like I am a curse because I do not want my problems becoming everyone's problems.

Jonathan you are not a curse.  Depression is an illness.  It can make you feel really bad and get paranoid.  I wish I could do something right this minute for you.  But Jonathanm,  Hang in there ok.  I can suggest to you not to drink any caffine or eat any chocolate because it can make everything worse.  It makes me really nervous.  If you can go to the store and by some Camomile Tea it really works to calm nerves.  Put 2 bags in one cup.  Tuesday isn't very far away, so hang in there.  I will be praying for you.  I know how scared you must feel.  I have been there.  You will be ok.  You are not a curse ok.  You have an illness you are going to take care of.  You are doing the right thing going to a doctor.  Hang in there.  Jonathan I believe in guardian angels.  Your guardian angel will be by your side and God will be by your side also.  Just ask God to help you get through this and he will.

Hugs

Barb :)

Hi Jonathan,

You are most certainly not a curse, but a blessing to those who care about you - more people than you think, I'm sure!

I wish I knew more about ocd and was able to give you the help you need.  Be sure I do care for you and am praying for you.  You are important!  Please hang in there.

God bless,

Dave

Dear Jonathon, I hope that you will find the help you need! But please take Barbara's advice no caffeine of any kind and NEVER drink alcohol when you are depressed it increases the depression and turns it over the edge towards suicidal thoughts! I know I have been there after my divorce and its not fun!  I had the good sense to see the negative effects and stop right away! I know  that the tea works it is very soothing ! I think you need to get new friends they don't seem like they are very understanding and have obviously never had this kind of problem! You can't JUST get over it it takes time and you need help and support and if they are not doing this they aren't true friends! You are a very sweet guy and I am sure you will pull thru this black period and No you aren't going insane put that thought out of your head! We all have black periods once in awhile some poeples just last longer and are a little darker! Keep your chin up I am praying for you!

As Always, God Bless!

Sincerly, Susan

Also I forgot to tell you, YOU ARE NOT A CURSE!!! You are a very special human being and a fine man with alot of friends who care about you and you remember and tell yourself that all the time because it is true!! Please try not to be so hard on yourself okay?! A big hug for you! Take care!

As Always, God Bless!

Sincerly, Susan