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Chris Wiseman

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Stand-By - Chuckle Warning!!!! - Incoming Laughter Zone!!!!
10/25/2006 7:31:26 AM

It's raining and dark and dreary here in the South Western corner of England so I fancy a laugh. I had a look around and found this little gem. I hope this makes you smile today!

The Push

A couple is in bed sleeping when there's a rat-a-tat-tat on the door.
The husband rolls over and looks at the clock, and it's half past 3 in the morning." I'm not getting out of bed at this time," he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows. So he drags himself out of bed,
goes downstairs, opens the door, and there's a man standing there. It didn't take the homeowner long to realize the man was drunk.

"Hi there," slurs the stranger, "Can you give me a push?" "No, get lost. It's half past three and I was in bed," says the man as he slams the door.

He goes back up to bed and tell his wife what happened and she says, "That wasn't very nice of you. Remember that night we broke down in the pouring
rain on the way to pick the kids up from the baby-sitter and you had to knock on that man's house to get us started again? What would have happened if he'd told us to get lost?"

"But the guy was drunk," says the husband.

"It doesn't matter," says the wife." He needs our help and it would be the Christian thing to help him." So the husband gets out of bed again, gets dressed, and goes downstairs.

He opens the door, and not being able to see the stranger anywhere,

He shouts, "Hey, do you still want a push?"
And he hears a voice cry out, "Yeah, please."

So, still being unable to see the stranger he shouts, "Where are you?"......................................

 

 

The drunk replies, "Over here, on the swing."

Have a fantastic day Chris Wiseman Personal Website http://www.cgwpma.com Chris Wiseman Positive About Forums -Take a look http://community.adlandpro.com/forumsMenu.aspx Don't forget to sign the Guestbook http://cgwpma.com/32198/index.html
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Venerina Conti

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Re: Stand-By - Chuckle Warning!!!! - Incoming Laughter Zone!!!!
10/25/2006 9:48:35 AM

heheheheheheheheheheheh

heheheheheheheheheheheh

Well if it had been a woman Chris ... I would have sworn it was me last week!!!!

heheheheheheheheheheheh

Thank you buddy ....

Hugs

V.

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Chris Wiseman

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Re: Stand-By - Chuckle Warning!!!! - Incoming Laughter Zone!!!!
10/25/2006 10:47:19 AM

Well young lady what can I say....I mean what can I say? Is this because you are getting a reputation of being a little drunk? or is it because you hop over peoples fences and have a play on the swing? or GOSH!.......both!!!!!!!!!

It reminds me of a little story of when I went out for a few drinks with the lads. We left the last pub a little drunk and ended up in a childrens playground just before midnight. Don't ask me why .......no I said don't ask me why (lol).... but it seemed like a really good idea to go down the slide and have a go on the swings!!!!! bad idea I know!!!!! but we did anyway!!!

Time went on and we staggered back to our homes. I sneeked in the door quielty so as not to wake up my landlord but decided to have a drink out the fridge. I opened the fridge door and the door shelf collapsed onto the floor with a mighty bang at 1am!!!!!

Before I knew it my landlord came down with a worried look and looked me up and down? "are you ok he said" "yes I'm fine" I replied explaining that the door shelf had collapsed. He returned to his bed a with a puzzled look on his face?

It wasn't until the morning when I awoke that I discovered why I got a strange look. I was the first to go down the childrens slide and my jeans had obviously picked up all the mud from the slide leaving a dirty great skid mark up the back of my jeans!!!!! My landlord must have thought I had been in a fight!!!!!!!! or worse still that I had messed myself (polite version)!!!!!!

Anyhow thanks for posting hope you enjoyed the story.

 

Have a fantastic day Chris Wiseman Personal Website http://www.cgwpma.com Chris Wiseman Positive About Forums -Take a look http://community.adlandpro.com/forumsMenu.aspx Don't forget to sign the Guestbook http://cgwpma.com/32198/index.html
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John Partington

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Re: Stand-By - Chuckle Warning!!!! - Incoming Laughter Zone!!!!
10/25/2006 11:43:26 AM

Hi Chris,

Thanks, but I am sure I have seen this same joke before over at Dave C's forum?

But thanks for telling it again and also for trying to explain to some americans that I am not all bad in my latest forum, its just that some of them are as thick as pig shit.

Best Wishes

John.

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Deborah Skovron

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Re: Stand-By - Chuckle Warning!!!! - Incoming Laughter Zone!!!!
10/25/2006 12:13:07 PM

Hi Chris,

    I think all of us have had a little foray into the childrens playyard. LOL

   Great story.

Thank you.

Your Good Friend

Deborah

BrandName Kidswear starting at $2.65. http://debs-kids.com 12 Page Book thats creating miracles...FREE http://www.debs-kids.com/star-thrower.pdf Where Money Grows Like Kids
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