M y tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat
When I looked at the tire....
I noticed your cat.
Sorry!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
H eard your wife left you,   
How upset you must be.
But don't fret about it...
She moved in with me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
L ooking back over the years
that we've been together,
I can't help but wonder...
"What the hell was I thinking?"


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
C ongratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your husband.

! ;~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
H ow could two people as beautiful as you
Have such an ugly baby?


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I 've always wanted to have
someone to hold,
someone to love.
After having met you ..
I've changed my mind.

-------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------
I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.
I never believed in Hell until I met you.


//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// A s the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...
That you're not here to ruin it for me.


####################################################
C ongratulations on your promotion.
Before you go...
Would you like to take this knife out of my back?
You'll probably need it again.

********************************************************************************
H appy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

(Available only in Tennessee , Kentucky & West Virginia)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
H appy birthday! You look great for your age.
Almost Lifelike!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
W hen we were together,
you always said you'd die for me.
Now that we've broken up,
I think it's time you kept your promise.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
W e have been friends for a very long time .. let's say we stop?


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I 'm so miserable without you it's almost like you're here.


=====================================================
C ongratulations on your new bundle of joy.

Did you ever find out who the father was?

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Y our friends and I wanted to do
something special for your birthday.
So we're having you put to sleep.


))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
S o your daughter's a hooker,
and it spoiled your day.
Look at the bright side,
it's really good pay

Hi Sheri,

     WHat a hoot!!!!!  Thanks for the laugh.

Your Good Friend

Deborah

Hi Sheri,

I don't know where you come up with these, but the smiles just keep getting bigger and better.

My favorite was Congrats on the Bundle of Joy.  Reminded me of the young lady who came home from College, Pregnant, and the first thing Momma asked was if she knew who the Father was.  The young lady promptly replied with a smile, "I've got it narrowed down to two, either the football team or the band."

Have A Great Weekend,

Phil B.