A business man in the mojave desert bought a brand new car and decided to show it to his blonde rancher friend. As they were driving down the highway the business pointed out the best feature on the car... the faster you went the cooler the engine ran. The blonde was totally amazed. They kept going faster and faster right until the temperature gauge was all the way down. Eventually they got back to the ranch. The blonde had to go to another farmer down the road so he got on his horse and started it out fast right away. As he rode he proded the horse faster, faster,faster still. (and mind you this is the heat of a desert day) Well they got no farther then 6 miles when the horse dropped stone dead. The blonde took one look and said, "Hmmm.. it must have frozen to death."
Three men walked into a resturaunt. You'd think at least one of them would have seen it!
A couple was dressed and ready to go out for the evening. They turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on the phone line, covered their pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard. They phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and the couple opened the front door to leave their house.
The cat they had put out into the yard scoots back into the house. They don't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird. The wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, the man in hot pursuit. Waiting in the cab, the wife doesn't want the driver to know the house will be empty for the night. She explains to the taxi driver that her husband will be out soon. "He's just going upstairs to say good-bye to my mother." A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab. "Sorry I took so long," he says, as they drive away. "Stupid ---- was hiding under the bed. Had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off so I grabbed her by the neck. Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked. I hauled her downstairs and threw her out into the backyard!"
The cab driver hit a parked car
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