For The Kids...
Doctor Doctor I swallowed a bone.
Are you choking? No, I really did!
Doctor, Doctor I think I need glasses
You certainly do, Sir, this is a fish and chip shop!
Doctor, Doctor my son has swallowed my pen, what should I do?
Use a pencil till I get there
Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a bell?
Take these and if it doesn't help give me a ring!
Doctor, Doctor I think I'm suffering from Deja Vu!
Didn't I see you yesterday?
Doctor, Doctor I've got wind! Can you give me something?
Yes - here's a kite!
Doctor, how do I stop my nose from running?!
Stick your foot out and trip it up!
For The Kids...
What do you get if you all sit under a cow?
A pat on the head!
What's the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper!
What do you call a pig that took a plane?
Swine flu!
What kind of doctor treats ducks?
A quack!
What did the well mannered sheep say to his friend at the field gate?
Afer ewe!
Why did the ram fall over the cliff?
He didn't see the ewe turn!
What do cows like to dance to?
Any kind of moosic you like!
Where do sheep get shorn?
At the baa baas!
What do you get if you cross a steer with a tadpole?
A bullfrog!
For The Kids...
What is posthumous work?
Something written by someone after they are dead!
What is the most slippery country in the world?
Greece!
What is the strongest bird?
A crane!
What is the smelliest city in America?
Phew York!
What did the fireman's wife get for Christmas?
A ladder in her stocking!
Who was the best actor in the bible?
Samson, he brought the house down!
What cake wanted to rule the world?
Atilla the Bun!
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