For The Kids...
Why do ducks have webbed feet?
To stamp out forest fires!
Why did the pig go to the casino?
To play the slop machine!
What is a pigs favorite ballet?
Swine Lake!
What do you get if you cross a hen with a dog?
Pooched eggs!
How do you stop a rooser crowing on Sunday?
Eat him on Saturday!
Why did the foal cough?
Because he was a little horse!
What is the opposite of cock-a doodle-doo?
Cock-a-doodle-don't!
What's the best way to keep milk from turning sour?
Leave it inside the cow!
Where do milkshakes come from?
Excited cows!
For The Kids...
Doctor: You seem to be in excellent health. Your pulse is as regular as clockwork.
Patient: That's because you've got your hand on my watch!
Doctor, Doctor I've had tummy ache since I ate three crabs yesterday.
Did they smell bad when you took them out of their shells?
What do you mean "took them out of their shells!"
Doctor, Doctor, everyone keeps ignoring me.
Next please!
Doctor, Doctor, some days I feel like a tee-pee and other days I feel like a wig-wam.
You're too tents.
Doctor, Doctor I've a split personality
Well, you'd better both sit down then!
Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a nit
Will you get out of my hair!
For The Kids...
What is the best day of the week to sleep?
Snooze-day!
How many rotten eggs does it take to make a stink bomb?
A phew!
What do cannibals eat for breakfast?
Buttered host!
What holds the sun up in the sky?
Sunbeams!
What does "Maximum" mean?
A very big mother!
What is full of holes but can still hold water?
A sponge!
Why is perfume obedient?
Because it is scent wherever it goes!
|