Hello my friends, I am funny Huh???just for certain people, they will know who they are, theres hidden messages.Enjoy,Kathy/simikathy.com Is Romance Just History? St Valentine’s Day is a bitter-sweet occasion. Singles wait expectantly for that surprise card from a secret admirer to drop through the letter box while women in relationships expect to be wined, dined and showered with tokens of love. It doesn’t always happen, of course… So, were men more bold in days of old and is the art of courtship dead? If prostitution is the oldest profession, love is certainly one of the oldest emotions although it has not always played the lead role in male/female relationships. The ancient Greeks regarded love as a sickness sent to them by the Gods as a punishment while the Romans often valued courtesans more highly than the women who lived with them as their wives. In fact, although it has abounded in other forms, the concept of romantic love as the basis of sex and marriage has only fully evolved within the last century. In other ways, modern relationships have only just arrived back at the point they had reached before the fall of the Roman Empire, when women were economically and legally emancipated, children a luxury rather than an asset and sexual enjoyment deemed the right of all. Christianity must take most of the blame for plunging the world into a Dark Ages of guilt-laden or joyless sex, where women were chattle. Typical of the dual standards of those times, women were expected to be virtuous but noblemen were given the right to ravish any peasant woman on the road and to deflower all brides of their vassals. Christian marital sex was supposed to be performed only in the "missionary position", never during Lent or holy days, and then only to conceive a child. The church even sanctioned wife beating. For the clergy them-selves, "sex without value" (e.g. rape, orgies or with a prostitute) was not a serious offence, although sex with value (e.g., loving a woman) was. However it was these very restrictions that produced many of the courting rituals that still exist today, such as buying a woman dinner, sending her flowers or a romantic Valentine’s card. Falling in love consists of uncorking the imagination and bottling the common sense. - Helen Rowland The days of chivalry began in Medieval times when the importance of love emerged as a reaction to arranged marriages, which were born out of the need to create alliances for financial or political reasons. Because love was still not considered a prerequisite in matrimonial decisions, the tradition of "courtly love" arose, a romantic ideal, previously unknown to Western civilization. However the relationship – usually between a knight and a married lady whose husband was away on a Crusade – had to remain platonic, chastity being essential for a woman who wanted to hold her head up in public. This made it a clandestine, bitter sweet affair of endless frustrations. Under courtly love rules, the sex act was considered false love, while true love could be everything else but - kissing, touching, fondling, and perhaps even naked contact. Such a relationship was seen as spiritually uplifting, making men better warriors. However, for the first time it also introduced the possibility of emotional relationships between men and women, based on mutual respect and admiration. The pioneer of this New Romanticism was William II, Duke of Aquitaine. He introduced what we now call "courtship" and encouraged the idea of troubadors who plighted their troth with flowery poems and love songs. His granddaughter, Eleanor, who became Queen of both France and England, carried on the tradition. Her Court of Love earned her the name Queen of Hearts. However, because courtly love flew in the face of Christian teachings, the Church fought back. All physically desirable women were projected by the church as evil sorceresses and, by 1450, the official Catholic dogma even established that witches existed and could fly by night. Pope Innocent VII's infamous Bull of 1484 advocated hanging them by their thumbs, twisting ropes around their heads, pushing needles under their nails and pouring boiling oil on their feet to force them to confess. However, even the church could not keep romance at bay for long and pleasurable love rose to the fore once more during the Renaissance, although it was still far from being the basis for wedlock. Marriage was still a life-long financial transaction that usually took place at 14-16 years old, and included a dowry plus income and property guarantees. Love is an act of endless forgiveness; a tender look which becomes a habit. - Peter Ustinov Henry VIII was among the first major figures in history to break with that tradition and combine love and marriage. He waged a long battle with the church to secure his divorce from his first wife, Catherine of Aragon, in order to marry Anne Boleyn (although, as history reveals, it didn’t last). Another champion of romance in marriage was Martin Luther who asserted that wedlock was not a religious sacrament at all, but a civil matter. He shocked the world when he claimed that Christ probably committed adultery with Mary Magdalene and other women so as to fully experience the nature of man. Luther humself broke from Rome and married for love. Writers of the day, too, were helping to change the concept of love and marriage. Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet was a case in point, where two star-crossed lovers from rival families attempt to fly in the face of tradition for love. Love is the drug which makes sexuality palatable in popular mythology. - Germaine Greer Surprisingly the Puritans, who came on the scene next, also helped to further the cause of romantic love. Contrary to popular belief, they greatly enjoyed sex inside marriage and condemned the "popish" concept of the virtue of virginity. The 17th century poet John Milton was a puritan who held idealistic and romantic views about marriage. His Paradise Lost projects Adam and Eve in a romantic love context. Although sex before marriage was not the done thing, it was acknowledged that young passions should have some outlet and the strange custom of "bundling" was practised during the 16th and 17th centuries. This allowed courting couples to share a bed, fully clothed, often with a "bundling board" between them or a bolster tied between the girl’s legs. The idea was to allow the couple to talk and get to know each other without going "too far". Love is grand... Divorce is 80 grand. - Anonymous By the mid-18th Century – the Age of Reason – romance had fallen out of favour again. New scientific and rational outlooks replaced the mystical and intuitive ones of the past and huge emphasis was placed on social etiquette. The emotional life of humans disappeared behind the facade of elegant manners and icy self-control. This 18th century love idealized the mythical Don Juan who was impeccably mannered, lustful, haughty, and false. Love was often reduced to a malicious sport, the motive to seduce. This changed again during 19th century Victorianism, when urbane control of one’s emotions was losing popularity to "sensibility". Love now became a mighty force and noble goal. Men sought not the dazzling, flirtatious woman, but the shy, virginal one. A woman being courted was permitted to summon up only a "timid blush" or the "faintest of smiles" to convey her feelings. Nearly all written work about the private lives of Victorians omitted all references to sex and love. It was even alleged that Robert Browning, a popular writer of the time, had never seen his wife naked. Love is always open arms. If you close your arms about love you will find that you are left holding only yourself. - Leo Buscaglia Courting became almost an art form among the upper classes. An interested gentleman could not simply walk up to a young lady and begin a conversation. Once they had been formally introduced, if the gentleman wished to escort the lady home he would present his card to her. At the end of the evening the lady would look over her options and select her escort. She would notify the lucky gentleman by giving him her own card, requesting that he escort her home. Almost all courting took place at the girl’s home, always under the eyes of watchful parents. If the courting progressed, the couple might advance to the private drawing room or front porch. Smitten couples rarely saw each other without the presence of a chaperone, and marriage proposals were frequently written. As a backlash to this Victorian repression there was a great hunger for sexual fantasy. Pornography, and prostitution rose dramatically. Love is the dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species. - W. Somerset Maugham At the same time, the structure of marriage was crumbling as women began rebelling against their oppressive "glorified" status. The rigid Victorian home was threatened by female suffrage, divorce reforms and rising prosperity. Children began to leave home to follow their own lives, depriving women of many of their functions. The reasonably affluent man could now concentrate more on a woman’s value as a love partner, rather than a decorative bauble or baby factory. There is only one happiness in life: to love and be loved. - George Sand With this grew a new age of romantic love, the increasing divorce rate reflecting not the failure of love but the increasing refusal of people to live without love and happiness. Romantic attraction not only became desirable, but the only acceptable basis for choosing a life-long partner. Dating started in the 1920s as a new way of mate selection, although at first it was criticised by many sociologists as a loveless, competitive contest. But it was a healthy breakthrough, enabling potential partners to get to know each other better before taking the marital plunge. You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly. - Sam Keen The sexual revolution changed everything yet again and today, while love is still desirable in marriage, marriage is not necessary for sex. Some people believe that free love and contraception on demand has killed the art of romance for good and all (Hemingway defined love in the unromantic terms of a douche bag when he likened it to "something that hangs up behind the bathroom door and smells of Lysol".) But most people still believe that love, rather than just sex, is an essential component of a fulfilling relationship. Over-commercial as it has become, Valentine’s Day is a celebration of the concept of romantic love that is continuing to keep it alive.